Performance Anxiety

I am experiencing performance anxiety on a couple of fronts right now.  I am applying for jobs, and each one has a questionnaire online that is the first weed out. I have a tendency to overthink answering these questions, which are directly related to the skills required to get hired for the job.  I read the posting and think to myself, "I can do this job, no problem!" Then I get into the questionnaire and start second guessing myself, "Well, I know this, but do I technically have 'experience' in it?  I should answer no to this."  And I don't even want to think about how I psych myself out on the open ended questions.  I am generally an articulate person, but on these essay questions I lose my ability to put two words together coherently. 

I didn't have this much trouble with the bar exam, for crying out loud!!

I am also getting nervous about running my first race since before my daughter was born.  Most people probably would have started with a 5k, but for some reason I saw this 8k at my alma mater and couldn't resist.  I live about 5 minutes from campus, which added to the appeal.  I then told my sister-in-law about it, because she has recently started running as well, and she signed up too.  So there is no chickening out!  My legs have felt like lead this week - I'm tired and my allergies are raging.  It has been beautiful weather for the past week, sunny and warm.  We don't usually get this many days in the 70s this time of year, so I was happy thinking that it will be a beautiful spring morning to go for a run.  It's not meant to be.  The forecast for Sunday morning is 60 degrees and pouring rain.  I should have known that would happen, as Murphy and I are good friends.  I generally don't run outside when it's raining, as there are few things I hate more than being cold and wet. 

I especially dislike having cold wet feet, a fact that my dad teased me about for years.  When I was a teenager, I was a competitive swimmer.  I swam year round, spent most of my time wet, and would go outside with wet hair in the dead of winter (it did freeze, in case you were wondering), without a second thought.  But stepping in a puddle and having cold wet feet made me absolutely miserable. So the idea of running in the rain in any season but summer is not something that exhilirates me.   

Still, there are many upsides that I have to keep in mind.  Once I get warmed up, I think I can make the 5 miles...if I don't stop.  Once I get in my groove, I feel like I can go forever.  It's actually very much like when I was a distance swimmer.  I had two speeds - on and off.  If I can get "on", then I will be fine.  And no matter how I do, I will set a personal record (PR), because it's a distance I have never raced before.

And finally, I don't want to wish the rain away - we are on the verge of a drought here, and I would rather have some rain than end up in a drought situation.  It has been nice to have our solar panels generating so much energy and hot water (building up a credit to pay for our air conditioning this summer!), but I also plant a vegetable garden each year and I want to be able to put my seedlings outside to get rained on and start to harden off. 

I feel better now that I've given myself this little pep talk.  I am excited to apply for a new job and try something new, and to run a distance I've never tried before.  I need to keep my eye on the prize and not talk myself out of great experiences!

Putting a Bow on the Week

Lots of random thoughts today, not sure why, but I feel the need to get them all out here. So here comes a stream of consciousness!

I ran six miles yesterday.  I never thought I would write those words.  But I did, because I ran six miles yesterday!  I thought I would be dying today, but I feel pretty good!  I'd feel even better if my allergies and sinuses weren't going crazy, but it is that time of year.  I'm thinking I need to try acupuncture -- I have been taking allergy meds forever, have tried shots and sub-lingual immunotherapy (SLIT), all to no avail.  I have a lot of trouble functioning in the spring and fall, and as a mom, it's not like it's an option to just hide out in bed until it passes.  I just got retested this week after a year and a half of SLIT, and not only are my existing allergies reduced, I picked up one or two new ones.  REALLY!?!  That was not what I needed to hear.  So anyway, I've heard good things about acupuncture, and if it relieves any of my symptoms at all, I will be happy.  Especially if it can make me less susceptible to sinus headaches.  They are seriously slowing me down.  And they are making it tough for me to stick to my training plan for the 10k I promised to run with my sister-in-law in NYC in June.  I have a couple of races scheduled for the end of this month too, and I'm going to be really upset if I can't run or am hampered by my allergies/sinuses!  

Have you tried acupuncture?  Did it help with whatever you were hoping for help with?  How did you find a good, reputable acupuncturist?

My niece is turning one this weekend and having a party.  (I did say this was going to be a random post, right?)  So tonight I have to go out and get her a present.  I usually try to do most gift purchasing online, usually on Amazon.com, but I decided it would be fun to take my daughter and let her help pick something out for her cousin.  She adores her little cousin, they are super cute together.  I had some ideas on what to get for her, but unfortunately I didn't write them down, so I guess we will have to wing it.  I have no memory anymore! Maybe some Little People, or Green Toys -  we love to give the Green Toys Fire Truck as a first birthday present.  We'll probably also try to find one or two clothing items as well, but for some reason, I really like to give toys to toddlers. 

What are some of your favorite things to give as first birthday gifts?

On Sunday, we are going to see the Flyers play the Penguins in game 3 of the NHL Eastern Conference Quarter Finals.  I love this time of year!  Can't wait to get all Flyer'd up and go see the game with my mom and my daughter! 

What's your fave sports team?  Do you get extra worked up to root for them during the post-season?

I'm going to be spending a lot of time driving this weekend so that we can attend all of these festivities, as both are over an hour away.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  But it will be worth it, and hey, it's easier than it was when my daughter was in diapers and eating only baby food and couldn't go more than ten minutes without nursing (that's what it felt like!).  At least now I can just throw a change of clothes in the car and go.

I'm also going to have to figure out when I am going to get my cooking for the week done, since we will be out most of the day both Saturday or Sunday.  I have collard greens I need to cook before they go bad, I think I'm going to pair them with citrus peppercorn tilapia for dinner tonight.  I will have to think about my weekend cooking this afternoon and plan something to throw in the crock pot each day and have my husband pull it out when he gets up.  It's his work week, so he's sleeping days and working nights this weekend.  I like this idea!  I'll have to come up with two good spring crock pot meals...I'm off to see what strikes my fancy and aligns with what is in my pantry!