I am experiencing performance anxiety on a couple of fronts right now. I am applying for jobs, and each one has a questionnaire online that is the first weed out. I have a tendency to overthink answering these questions, which are directly related to the skills required to get hired for the job. I read the posting and think to myself, "I can do this job, no problem!" Then I get into the questionnaire and start second guessing myself, "Well, I know this, but do I technically have 'experience' in it? I should answer no to this." And I don't even want to think about how I psych myself out on the open ended questions. I am generally an articulate person, but on these essay questions I lose my ability to put two words together coherently.
I didn't have this much trouble with the bar exam, for crying out loud!!
I am also getting nervous about running my first race since before my daughter was born. Most people probably would have started with a 5k, but for some reason I saw this 8k at my alma mater and couldn't resist. I live about 5 minutes from campus, which added to the appeal. I then told my sister-in-law about it, because she has recently started running as well, and she signed up too. So there is no chickening out! My legs have felt like lead this week - I'm tired and my allergies are raging. It has been beautiful weather for the past week, sunny and warm. We don't usually get this many days in the 70s this time of year, so I was happy thinking that it will be a beautiful spring morning to go for a run. It's not meant to be. The forecast for Sunday morning is 60 degrees and pouring rain. I should have known that would happen, as Murphy and I are good friends. I generally don't run outside when it's raining, as there are few things I hate more than being cold and wet.
I especially dislike having cold wet feet, a fact that my dad teased me about for years. When I was a teenager, I was a competitive swimmer. I swam year round, spent most of my time wet, and would go outside with wet hair in the dead of winter (it did freeze, in case you were wondering), without a second thought. But stepping in a puddle and having cold wet feet made me absolutely miserable. So the idea of running in the rain in any season but summer is not something that exhilirates me.
Still, there are many upsides that I have to keep in mind. Once I get warmed up, I think I can make the 5 miles...if I don't stop. Once I get in my groove, I feel like I can go forever. It's actually very much like when I was a distance swimmer. I had two speeds - on and off. If I can get "on", then I will be fine. And no matter how I do, I will set a personal record (PR), because it's a distance I have never raced before.
And finally, I don't want to wish the rain away - we are on the verge of a drought here, and I would rather have some rain than end up in a drought situation. It has been nice to have our solar panels generating so much energy and hot water (building up a credit to pay for our air conditioning this summer!), but I also plant a vegetable garden each year and I want to be able to put my seedlings outside to get rained on and start to harden off.
I feel better now that I've given myself this little pep talk. I am excited to apply for a new job and try something new, and to run a distance I've never tried before. I need to keep my eye on the prize and not talk myself out of great experiences!
Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts
Friday, April 20, 2012
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Surviving Christmas
Whew. I am exhausted. Christmas this year was a 3-4 day event, with our various family gatherings not spaced out at all. The exhaustion was absolutely worth it though, as our two year old had a wonderful time! Before I had a child, Christmas being on a weekend didn't make things any tougher, but now it is a hard deadline!
My little one loves Christmas lights, and so she was thrilled when we finally got our tree up...three days before Christmas. Oh well. That's okay. It'll likely stay up until Valentine's Day, so she will still have plenty of time to enjoy it!
Thursday we went to see Santa. We weren't planning to take her this year, figuring that she would be afraid of him still, but after a week of hearing, "A go see Santa?" over and over, we decided to head to the mall. I'm glad that we did, as she was all smiles as soon as she saw him and we got a really nice photo out of the deal.
Our holiday travel marathon began on Friday night, when we drove down to my parent's house. If there is absolutely no traffic and no stops along the way, the drive can be done in a little over 2 hours. Our drive was not quite so easy. Three hours, a dinner stop and three potty breaks later, we arrived. We spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family, having brunch, opening presents, eating cake and coffee, then dinner. It was like the day that wouldn't end, topped off with another three hour, three potty stop drive home. Upon arriving home, little one fortunately went right off to bed, which left me to wrap and play Santa in preparation for Christmas morning. I dropped into bed exhausted, but excited to see her face the next morning.
Christmas morning was just the three of us. I went downstairs a minute or two ahead and turned the tree lights on and got the video camera ready. I am really a bad videographer, but I wanted to see if I could capture the look on her face when she saw the tricycle under the tree. She saw the tree and the trike and her smile lit up her whole face! I was as excited as she was for her to climb aboard. She started pushing on the floor with her toes, and within about 5 minutes had put her feet up on the pedals and started pedaling. Craziness. I really didn't expect her to get the hang of pedaling so quickly! We had so much fun on Christmas morning, it's a memory I will treasure forever. Our little one didn't get a lot of presents from Santa, but what she got, she loved, so her mama is happy.
My parents came up for Christmas dinner and to exchange gifts, and we all had a lot of fun together. Then on Monday, my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, first cousins once removed, etc) all got together and enjoyed each other's company. Despite the two hour drive each way, we had a good time. I always think of my grandmother at this particular family gathering, and how happy she would be that we all still get together to celebrate the holiday. From the time I was young until her death in 2002, I gave her an angel for her Christmas tree. I still buy one in her memory every year and hang it on our tree. Merry Christmas, Mom-Mom!
I survived the Christmas marathon, but I need to re-think my strategy for next year. I should probably try to figure it out now, while the memory of this year is still fresh. I think Christmas is on a Tuesday next year...
Forget it. I'm too tired to even think about it!
My little one loves Christmas lights, and so she was thrilled when we finally got our tree up...three days before Christmas. Oh well. That's okay. It'll likely stay up until Valentine's Day, so she will still have plenty of time to enjoy it!
Thursday we went to see Santa. We weren't planning to take her this year, figuring that she would be afraid of him still, but after a week of hearing, "A go see Santa?" over and over, we decided to head to the mall. I'm glad that we did, as she was all smiles as soon as she saw him and we got a really nice photo out of the deal.
Our holiday travel marathon began on Friday night, when we drove down to my parent's house. If there is absolutely no traffic and no stops along the way, the drive can be done in a little over 2 hours. Our drive was not quite so easy. Three hours, a dinner stop and three potty breaks later, we arrived. We spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family, having brunch, opening presents, eating cake and coffee, then dinner. It was like the day that wouldn't end, topped off with another three hour, three potty stop drive home. Upon arriving home, little one fortunately went right off to bed, which left me to wrap and play Santa in preparation for Christmas morning. I dropped into bed exhausted, but excited to see her face the next morning.
Christmas morning was just the three of us. I went downstairs a minute or two ahead and turned the tree lights on and got the video camera ready. I am really a bad videographer, but I wanted to see if I could capture the look on her face when she saw the tricycle under the tree. She saw the tree and the trike and her smile lit up her whole face! I was as excited as she was for her to climb aboard. She started pushing on the floor with her toes, and within about 5 minutes had put her feet up on the pedals and started pedaling. Craziness. I really didn't expect her to get the hang of pedaling so quickly! We had so much fun on Christmas morning, it's a memory I will treasure forever. Our little one didn't get a lot of presents from Santa, but what she got, she loved, so her mama is happy.
My parents came up for Christmas dinner and to exchange gifts, and we all had a lot of fun together. Then on Monday, my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, first cousins once removed, etc) all got together and enjoyed each other's company. Despite the two hour drive each way, we had a good time. I always think of my grandmother at this particular family gathering, and how happy she would be that we all still get together to celebrate the holiday. From the time I was young until her death in 2002, I gave her an angel for her Christmas tree. I still buy one in her memory every year and hang it on our tree. Merry Christmas, Mom-Mom!
I survived the Christmas marathon, but I need to re-think my strategy for next year. I should probably try to figure it out now, while the memory of this year is still fresh. I think Christmas is on a Tuesday next year...
Forget it. I'm too tired to even think about it!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Halloween Festivities and Nostalgia
I have a feeling that by this time next week, I will be all Halloweened out. I love Halloween and all it's accompaniments, so we cover a lot of ground this time of year. Going pumpkin picking, carving or painting pumpkins, decorating our porch and living room, finding a costume for my DD, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", trick or treating, Halloween parades and fall festivals at school, and, of course, eating chocolate. Halloween falling on a Monday seems to have drawn the celebration out some, as the festivities at DD's daycare are starting on Thursday with special Halloween treats for the kids during the day. For some reason, they decided to have the Halloween parade and party on Friday instead of Monday, so I am just now realizing that we will be dressing up Friday, Saturday and Monday. Whew. Saturday is a costume/birthday party and a Philadelphia Flyers game. Sunday will be for Mommy to recover from running and driving all over creation, and then Monday is trick or treating. Since DD is only 2, this consists of hitting a couple of friends' houses in the neighborhood and a nice brisk walk with the stroller. I hope.
I love Halloween and used to love getting dressed up. Some of this is nostalgia for my childhood; I trick or treated until I was 18. This may sound strange to some, but it was the standard in the town I grew up in. There were as many teenagers roaming the streets in costume as there were little ones. And the vast majority were legitimate trick or treaters, not annoying teenagers terrorizing small children. Almost no one was too cool to get dressed up and go out. We would develop a strategy for hitting the largest number of houses possible in the time before the 8 pm curfew. My mom kept ballpark counts of the number of trick or treaters who came to our house, and 100 or more was pretty standard. My mom often says that one of the things she liked about our small town was that it seemed that kids were able to be kids longer there, and Halloween is a good example of what she meant.
I also had the advantage of having parents who were willing to invest time and resources into creating homemade costumes. My brother and I had some really great costumes over the years. My mom sewed and my dad was willing to figure out ways to manipulate things like corrugated cardboard into various shapes and providing painting assistance when needed. My mom sewed a beautiful Snow White costume for me before the days of Disney mass production. I had witch, princess, bride, flapper costumes, all homemade. I am excited for the day in the near future when I can go through the costume box my mom kept and hopefully DD will want to wear some of them. Some of our more complicated costumes involved more than a sewing machine to manufacture. A (cardboard) book, lady on a pedestal (the pedestal did not fare well during trick or treating), St George on his horse, Pixie sitting on a toadstool (toadstool didn't survive), jellyfish...I know there are more, but these are the ones coming to mind right now. My husband is not a fan of Halloween, and I think his parents' disinterest is part of the reason for this. They basically left him to his own devices in finding costumes from a young age and didn't provide the creative support that both of my parents did.
I'm determined that Halloween will be fun for DD, but I have some obstacles to overcome. I don't know how to work a sewing machine. It's never too late to learn, but I also don't have much in the way of free time to develop these skills. I will figure this one out as I go along, not going to worry about it at this point. Thus far I have been able to get high quality costumes for her either for free (hand-me-downs) or at very reasonable prices. Next obstacle is the neighborhood we live in. I love where we live most of the time, but we are in a most undesirable trick or treating neighborhood! We get less than 5 kids per year knocking on our door on Halloween. Our street is a dead end with no sidewalks, long driveways and no good shortcuts from house to house because of hills and retaining walls. I think my best way around this one as she gets more into the years for trick or treating is going to be to develop a new tradition of trick or treating with friends who live across town.
As we creep closer to Halloween, I'm looking forward to dressing my little witch!! We are a dog family, but for one day, I will be a black cat for DD - but shh, don't tell our German Shepherd.
October 31, 2011: My prediction in this post came true...today is actually Halloween and I am exhausted! Of course, I failed to predict the snowstorm that deposited 5 inches of snow here on Saturday. I've never seen a white Halloween before! I'm just hoping it's warm enough to hit the houses of some good friends before heading home tonight. Wish me luck!
I love Halloween and used to love getting dressed up. Some of this is nostalgia for my childhood; I trick or treated until I was 18. This may sound strange to some, but it was the standard in the town I grew up in. There were as many teenagers roaming the streets in costume as there were little ones. And the vast majority were legitimate trick or treaters, not annoying teenagers terrorizing small children. Almost no one was too cool to get dressed up and go out. We would develop a strategy for hitting the largest number of houses possible in the time before the 8 pm curfew. My mom kept ballpark counts of the number of trick or treaters who came to our house, and 100 or more was pretty standard. My mom often says that one of the things she liked about our small town was that it seemed that kids were able to be kids longer there, and Halloween is a good example of what she meant.
I also had the advantage of having parents who were willing to invest time and resources into creating homemade costumes. My brother and I had some really great costumes over the years. My mom sewed and my dad was willing to figure out ways to manipulate things like corrugated cardboard into various shapes and providing painting assistance when needed. My mom sewed a beautiful Snow White costume for me before the days of Disney mass production. I had witch, princess, bride, flapper costumes, all homemade. I am excited for the day in the near future when I can go through the costume box my mom kept and hopefully DD will want to wear some of them. Some of our more complicated costumes involved more than a sewing machine to manufacture. A (cardboard) book, lady on a pedestal (the pedestal did not fare well during trick or treating), St George on his horse, Pixie sitting on a toadstool (toadstool didn't survive), jellyfish...I know there are more, but these are the ones coming to mind right now. My husband is not a fan of Halloween, and I think his parents' disinterest is part of the reason for this. They basically left him to his own devices in finding costumes from a young age and didn't provide the creative support that both of my parents did.
I'm determined that Halloween will be fun for DD, but I have some obstacles to overcome. I don't know how to work a sewing machine. It's never too late to learn, but I also don't have much in the way of free time to develop these skills. I will figure this one out as I go along, not going to worry about it at this point. Thus far I have been able to get high quality costumes for her either for free (hand-me-downs) or at very reasonable prices. Next obstacle is the neighborhood we live in. I love where we live most of the time, but we are in a most undesirable trick or treating neighborhood! We get less than 5 kids per year knocking on our door on Halloween. Our street is a dead end with no sidewalks, long driveways and no good shortcuts from house to house because of hills and retaining walls. I think my best way around this one as she gets more into the years for trick or treating is going to be to develop a new tradition of trick or treating with friends who live across town.
As we creep closer to Halloween, I'm looking forward to dressing my little witch!! We are a dog family, but for one day, I will be a black cat for DD - but shh, don't tell our German Shepherd.
October 31, 2011: My prediction in this post came true...today is actually Halloween and I am exhausted! Of course, I failed to predict the snowstorm that deposited 5 inches of snow here on Saturday. I've never seen a white Halloween before! I'm just hoping it's warm enough to hit the houses of some good friends before heading home tonight. Wish me luck!
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