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Friday, January 6, 2012

New Year, New Me?

I've never been one for formal New Year's Resolutions. It has always seemed to me that putting that kind of pressure on myself just sets me up for failure.  Also, I'm not that original, so my resolutions would likely be the same every year.  It's like when I am asked what I want for Christmas or my birthday - any other time, I can reel off one or two things that I want, but when the time comes, I can never remember and almost always say, "I don't know."  I'm told this is not especially helpful.  When New Year's rolls around, I am the same way.  "Uhhh, I'd like to get in shape?"

I think it's unrealistic to expect to become a new person in the new year.  I like the person I am, and it took me a long damn time to get to this point, so why would I want to change drastically?  I prefer the idea of resolving to make small tweaks that will improve my quality of life.

I've decided that I'm more of a short term goal girl.  This has been enhanced by motherhood.  I have less time and more to get done, so I need those shorter term, more specific items that I can get done and cross off my list. I love crossing items off my list.  That said, my resolutions this year are longer term, but specific enough to be attainable.

I also never have my resolutions figured out by January 1.  They need to percolate in my head and occur organically.  

I've never been one to document my resolutions, so technically this post could be considered a resolution, that I am really committing to do the things I am writing down here. 

Beyond that, here are my resolutions for 2012 (listed in no particular order):

Start running


I used to hate running.  Growing up, I loved playing soccer and swimming, and detested the running portion of the training programs for my sports.  This is probably in part due to the fact that I have horrendous allergies, which include allergies to grass and trees.  These are generally things that are unavoidable when running outdoors, and the medications available at the time didn't control my reactions as well as what I take now.  A year or so before I became pregnant with my daughter, I decided to give running another shot.  I was about 15 pounds overweight, had borderline high blood pressure and I was terribly out of shape.  Running was cheap and didn't require a lot of time.  I signed myself up for a 5k and made it my goal to be able to complete it without walking.  I still didn't like running while I prepared for that run.  It was only after I completed that race and got my official time that I really started to feel the rush that I had heard about.  Much like when I competed as a distance swimmer growing up, I found myself in competition with myself.  I had to sign up for another race to see if I could beat my own time.  I lost 15 pounds, my blood pressure plummeted and I felt great.  I found running to be a great pressure release valve as well. 

Then I got pregnant.  I continued running until my third trimester, then slowed it down to a walk.  I've been meaning to start running again, but just haven't gotten around to it. 

Until yesterday.  I started out easy, running one minute intervals with 90 second recovery periods.  My initial goal was to do eight, but I felt great, so I did sixteen instead.  I was apprehensive about how I would feel today, but I feel great!  I can't wait for my next run.  I'm going to make the time.  I need it and I deserve it.  I'm also going to push myself gradually harder, and maybe start to train for a longer race - perhaps a half marathon.  But one step at a time.  First I have to re-establish the habit. 

Find a new job/better work life balance

I picked a crummy economy and job market for this one, but there it is.  I need to get it done in 2012.  I am ready for a change in my day job.  I love the company I work for, but I need a new challenge.  I need to come to terms with the fact that I may have to start looking outside for the right fit for me.  I may have to reduce my requirements for what I'm looking for in that next opportunity.  I would love to stay with my company, keep my daughter in the daycare here and stay at the same pay level, but I may not be able to make that happen.  I feel like I have let myself get too specialized in my job, as I am frequently hearing as feedback, "You have a nice background, but it's really not what the hiring manager is looking for."  This is bad when combined with the fact that job descriptions are more specific than ever.  I'm a non-practicing attorney with lots of contracting experience and document management experience.  There doesn't seem to be a large market for that right now.   I am open to new areas and ideas, and if anyone has any, please share them with me!  I believe that I will find the position/job that is meant for me when I am supposed to, and that I have to stay positive in the meantime.  The only thing I will not compromise is my need for work life balance - my family is the most important thing in my life and my daughter will not be young forever.

The right job for me is out there.  I will find it.


Read 75 books this year

I love Goodreads.com.  I have been on it for a few years and have played with the idea of participating in their annual challenge, and this is the year I'm giving it a shot.  I love to read.  Now that I have a Kindle and know how to borrow books for it from my local public library, and am exploring the Amazon Prime lending library, there is no time like the present.  I am also hooked on listening to audio books on my iPod thanks to  Audible, so that will help as well.  I count those as books I have read because honestly, it takes much longer to listen to a book than it does to read it myself.

I chose 75 books as my goal.  I didn't base it on anything in particular.  I tend to reread books that I love, but I suspect that I am only supposed to count new books.  Hmm.  It may be totally unrealistic, but I think I can hit it without neglecting my child or letting my house fall down around my ears.

Sell/otherwise dispose of unused stuff

My house has been something of a construction site for the last five years, and we have kept things that we shouldn't have.  This is partly from not knowing what would go where upon completion and partly due to only recently having come to the revelation that not every gift we are given needs to actually enter our home. We have family members who believe in quantity over quality when they give gifts, and it is taking a toll. You know who you are. These same folks feel that they have to buy my daughter's affection by giving her crap every. single. time. she sees them.  You don't.  Trust me.  Pay attention to her and spend time with her instead.  Please and thank you.

A big thank you to those who don't fall into this category and give us gifts that are meaningful and useful at the same time.  (Thanks Mom!)  I am grateful that you know that stuff does not equal love.

Another issue was the family members who downsized into a much smaller home and dumped a lot of furniture and assorted crap into our home.  There were a few pieces that we will keep because we loved and wanted them, but they also brought us many things we thought we had politely refused.  We want to be surrounded by things we choose and love, not furniture and decorations that have been dumped on us.  This detritus is now taking up space and is slowly destroying my love for my home.

It is time for it to go.  In 2012, I will get this stuff out of my home.  Some of it is worthy of sale on eBay or Craigslist, other items will go on freecycle.org.  What is clutter and dust collectors in my eyes should be owned by someone who will enjoy them.  I love freecycle, because we definitely have stuff that in good conscience, I can't throw away.  We can't use it, but I know there are people out there who could.  Still other things will be donated or thrown away.  No matter what, if we don't love it, it is not staying in our house.

That's it.  A few things I need to do for myself and my family in 2012.  Hopefully, I will look back at this post in a couple of months and be happy with how I am dealing with these things.  Some are far easier than others, hopefully I won't feel the need to chuck any of them because they turn out to be unrealistic.

Wish me luck!!


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