Surviving Christmas

Whew.  I am exhausted.  Christmas this year was a 3-4 day event, with our various family gatherings not spaced out at all.  The exhaustion was absolutely worth it though, as our two year old had a wonderful time!  Before I had a child, Christmas being on a weekend didn't make things any tougher, but now it is a hard deadline! 

My little one loves Christmas lights, and so she was thrilled when we finally got our tree up...three days before Christmas.  Oh well.  That's okay.  It'll likely stay up until Valentine's Day, so she will still have plenty of time to enjoy it! 

Thursday we went to see Santa.  We weren't planning to take her this year, figuring that she would be afraid of him still, but after a week of hearing, "A go see Santa?" over and over, we decided to head to the mall.  I'm glad that we did, as she was all smiles as soon as she saw him and we got a really nice photo out of the deal.

Our holiday travel marathon began on Friday night, when we drove down to my parent's house.  If there is absolutely no traffic and no stops along the way, the drive can be done in a little over 2 hours.  Our drive was not quite so easy.  Three hours, a dinner stop and three potty breaks later, we arrived.  We spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family, having brunch, opening presents, eating cake and coffee, then dinner.  It was like the day that wouldn't end, topped off with another three hour, three potty stop drive home.  Upon arriving home, little one fortunately went right off to bed, which left me to wrap and play Santa in preparation for Christmas morning.  I dropped into bed exhausted, but excited to see her face the next morning. 

Christmas morning was just the three of us.  I went downstairs a minute or two ahead and turned the tree lights on and got the video camera ready.  I am really a bad videographer, but I wanted to see if I could capture the look on her face when she saw the tricycle under the tree.  She saw the tree and the trike and her smile lit up her whole face!  I was as excited as she was for her to climb aboard.  She started pushing on the floor with her toes, and within about 5 minutes had put her feet up on the pedals and started pedaling.  Craziness.  I really didn't expect her to get the hang of pedaling so quickly!  We had so much fun on Christmas morning, it's a memory I will treasure forever.  Our little one didn't get a lot of presents from Santa, but what she got, she loved, so her mama is happy.

My parents came up for Christmas dinner and to exchange gifts, and we all had a lot of fun together.  Then on Monday, my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, first cousins once removed, etc) all got together and enjoyed each other's company.  Despite the two hour drive each way, we had a good time.  I always think of my grandmother at this particular family gathering, and how happy she would be that we all still get together to celebrate the holiday.  From the time I was young until her death in 2002, I gave her an angel for her Christmas tree.  I still buy one in her memory every year and hang it on our tree.  Merry Christmas, Mom-Mom!

I survived the Christmas marathon, but I need to re-think my strategy for next year.  I should probably try to figure it out now, while the memory of this year is still fresh.  I think Christmas is on a Tuesday next year...

Forget it.  I'm too tired to even think about it! 

My Mother-In-Law Joined Facebook

This is the kind of thing that could REALLY test my patience.

Let's just say that I don't have the best relationship with my husband's parents.  This is an issue that spans many years and myriad circumstances, but they don't like me and I don't like them.  Our reasons are different - they don't like that I didn't ditch my family and become the daughter they never had when I married their son.  I don't like that they are manipulative, self-centered, intrusive people who treat my husband and his brother like they are still children rather than grown men with families of their own.  Their parents do not recognize them as the intelligent, remarkable, independent adults that they are.  My mother-in-law and father-in-law have different priorities than I do.  My family and friends are at the top of my list.  I love them and time spent with them is cherished.  My in-laws prioritize money and what others think above genuine affection and time spent with loved ones.  Any information, no matter how private, is broadcast immediately to their network of friends.  This includes personal information relating to health issues.  You get the idea.  Many of their friends are people that neither I nor my husband have ever met, so most of the people getting this private info are not close family friends of forever and a day. 

I know that you may be thinking...why not sit them down and have it out?  I wish that this were an option, as open and honest communication is my preferred form of communication.  (To a fault, I think there are times when I am upset and should really count to ten and think about whether certain things should actually come out of my mouth.)  I am not a slow burn sulker. 

Both of my husband's parents can hold a grudge like no two people I've ever seen!  They are so averse to confrontation that they will not discuss any issues face to face. We call it the twilight zone.  It's the perfect way to describe how it feels.  The closest we've ever come to having it out was when they once ambushed me with a telephone call to detail all of the things that I do wrong as a daughter-in-law and bemoan what they've done to deserve the way I treated them.  All attempts I made to contribute to that conversation were wasted breath, because they really didn't listen to a word I said.  

They jumped my sister-in-law via email.  It had a similar flavor and the same outcome.  They don't like her any more than they like me.  This has been a bonding experience for us.  So thank you, in-laws, for giving me additional common ground with my sister-in-law.  We have joined together to become our own support group and have become good friends in the process. 

My goal here is not to catalog all of their faults, but rather to give you an idea of why I was horrified when I received the text from my sister-in-law telling me that she got a friend request from our MIL.  Wise woman that my sis-in-law is, she promptly hit the ignore button.  Interestingly, my brother-in-law (yep, her son) didn't get a friend request, but my husband got an invitation to join Facebook and be her friend.  He was entertained but has no intention of joining.  His parents are so technophobic that he joked that his mother's email must have been hacked.  No way she could really be on Facebook.  I tend to think that his parents are technophobic when it's convenient.  They like to say to their sons, "Oh, we don't know how to do that.  Can you do it for us?"

I haven't gotten a friend request yet, but it's only a matter of time.  She has been eyeing this for a while as a way to cyber stalk us.  I know this because she has been dropping hints for a month or so now.  I must take the time that I have to think about whether I hit ignore or accept the friend request and then block her from seeing everything so that I can keep an eye on her.

Keeping my enemies closer, so to speak.

I'm not a very active Facebook user.  I go on maybe twice a week, pretty much never post statuses and basically am on to keep in touch and share photos with friends who live in distant places.

I checked out MILs page.  She has no security set on her page.  Of course not.  I'm happy with this at the moment, because it means I can keep an eye on her without having to be her FB friend.  But we will have an issue the minute I see a photo of my child posted without my permission and with no security to limit who can view it.  It may sound paranoid, but I don't trust my in-laws.  Even if MIL sets security, I don't know her friends.  I'm fine with her having photos, but I don't really want her posting photos of my daughter online.

Am I being nutty about this, or am I right to be concerned?

Maybe it's time to ditch my FB account and move over to Google+.  Hmm.  If only the solution to this dilemma were that simple.

What would you do?

December Traditions

Now that December is here, I've realized that many of our traditions start around Thanksgiving and keep us busy through the New Year.  Now that we have a child, we have added even more.  It's hard not to add things, as she is in that toddler stage, so innocent and fascinated by everything.  Working full time complicates this even further, because most of our activities end up squeezed into the weekends.  Having hockey season tickets gives me even less free time, though I do love it.  Thank goodness my team only has three home games this month! 

I am starting to realize that all of these things are why our house gets decorated for Christmas around December 23rd each year. 

Hmm.

But what do we cut out?  It's hard to trim anything, since most of these are A) fun and B) time spent with family or close friends. 

This Saturday we have two events planned.  The first one is new, a holiday party for the kids in daycare at my company, complete with Santa.  This should be a lot of fun, as my daughter's little friends will all be there and they all gaze in wonder at Christmas lights and Santa.

Then in the evening, we go to a Dickens festival in a town about an hour from home.  One of my closest friends lives right on the main street and a group of three of us attend this quaint little street fair no matter the weather.  We're like the postal service when it comes to this festival.  And we have seen all kinds of weather at this one.  We people watch, browse the booths, avoid the stilt-walkers and listen to carolers, and check out the live nativity scene while we wait for Santa to roll into town.  We don't always make it that long, sometimes a hot dinner in a warm place is too appealing to hold out on.  Then we adjourn to my friend's apartment to eat Harry and David Moose Munch and watch Harry Potter movies on ABC Family.  The evening comes to an end when one of us succumbs to our allergy to the cat.  One of the things I love about this outing is that my daughter fits into it seamlessly, and hopefully she will continue to love going to the festival with the girls as she gets older.

Sunday will be spent recovering from running all over the state on Saturday.  Hopefully this will also be an opportunity to identify where the Christmas tree will go this year and get that spot cleared out.  We always seem to have home improvement projects going on that impact exactly where we had planned to put the tree, requiring a last minute change of plans and hoping that the tree will fit somewhere else.

Upcoming events include:  adopting a family for Christmas and shopping/wrapping, photo with Santa, a cookie swap with friends, children's Christmas party at the firehouse, adult Christmas party at the firehouse,  our town's Christmas tree lighting, Santa ride on the firetruck to visit neighborhood children on Christmas Eve, and other things I am certainly forgetting. 

These events are on top of: decorating our home; shopping for family, friends, co-workers, teachers; planning, potentially hosting and traveling to various family celebrations of the holiday (we have at least three each year, sometimes four); off-site meetings for work; my husband's crazy work schedule and recertification courses; completing my mandatory continuing education by December 31; and of course, continuing to feed my family a healthy dinner each night and make sure everyone has clean clothes each day.

I'm going to take things one day at a time and shoot for accomplishing one thing each day...or couple of days.  On the upside, my daughter is still young enough that I can get away with being a little bit of a disorganized mess...she won't remember it.  Yet.  Now is the time to work out the kinks and get the hang of making Christmas events at home as much or more of a priority as the ones out. 

I can do this. 

My Crazy Thanksgiving Weekend!

Hope that you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!  I have a great deal to be thankful for, and gave that quite a bit of thought over the long holiday weekend.  And I do mean long. 

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, and I look forward to it every year.  We alternate spending Thanksgiving with my family and my husband's family.  My brother-in-law and his wife host DH's extended family every other year (they have the same rotation that we do), and my sister-in-law is super organized and a great cook.  Everyone brings something - most are assigned a dessert, or appetizer, or beverages.  Our assignment?  We bring the turkey.  I thought this would be really tough the first year we did it, but we've got it down now, and it gets rave reviews every time.  Never did I dream I would cook a bird that I then had to transport 45 minutes, keeping him hot along the way.  But I digress.  This year it was my family's turn, so no turkey transport this year. 

My DH works seven on, seven off nights, which means that he is off every other week.  There are no holidays off due to the nature of his work.  This year, unfortunately, he was on for Thanksgiving, which meant that he wasn't able to join us to celebrate Thanksgiving at my aunt's house, an hour and a half from our home. Usually Thanksgiving weekend is a simple thing.  We go to the home of the family member hosting, hang out, each too much, watch football or maybe It's a Wonderful Life and drive home and spend the rest of the weekend recovering and getting stuff done around our house and yard.  This year was much more involved than that. 

DD turned two last week, and my in-laws insisted on coming up for her birthday, despite the fact that we didn't want to have a party this year because of crazy schedules and the holiday. Not one to give them their way without being a little bit of a brat, I declared that fair is fair and invited my parents up as well.  My BIL and niece joined us as well.  My mom made a cake (thank you!  It was a big help, and very tasty!), and she also made my kitchen smell delicious by baking pies for the next day while I cleaned up my house before the rest of our visitors arrived.  We are not capable of having only one thing go on at a time, so of course we were also awaiting the delivery of a new freezer for the garage.  Which arrived damaged.  Which reminds me that I need to make sure we follow up with the place we bought it from.  (Adding to my to-do list.  Okay, done.)  Visitors arrived, freezer arrived, we went out to dinner, I didn't kill anyone, it was a successful visit.  We all went to bed tired. 

Thursday, I had our two year old solo for the trip to my aunt's house, which is usually no big deal.  This year, however, as soon as we got there, she looked at me and said, "Tummy huwts" and tossed her cookies.  Poor baby. She then proceeded to get sick a couple more times and was just generally under the weather.  Fortunately, we had extra clothes because we were spending the night at my parents house.  My overpacking tendency definitely came in handy.  DD perked up after almost everyone had left and started eating almost everything she could get her hands on. 

We were able to sleep in on Friday (thank goodness!) and then we headed to the city for the nhl game that we had tickets for.  After the game we got dinner at the diner and then headed home to collapse relax.  Then Sunday it was back down for my niece's christening.  It was a very nice day, though very long. 

I thought I was in the clear, but Sunday night I was stricken with the bug that hit DD on Thanksgiving day.  I haven't been that sick in a very long time.  I would have had this post up earlier, but I slept through Monday and couldn't look at the computer on Tuesday.  Much better today.

Even with the marathon that was this holiday weekend, Thanksgiving is still one of my favorite holidays.  It isn't like it used to be, when I was younger and didn't have a kid.  I don't always get to talk to everyone that I want to, but they understand.  I know that. 

I am thankful that I have my family.  I'm thankful that we are, for the most part, healthy. I'm thankful that I get to see my family on holidays.  While it's no fun when my husband has to work on holidays, I'm thankful that he has a job.  I could go on, but I think you get the idea.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I hope that you do too, and that you had a Happy Thanksgiving spent with those near and dear to you. 

Now the holiday season has begun, it doesn't slow down until after the new year.  Let the craziness begin!

Risk Versus Reward: Is It Worth It To Change Jobs Now?

I am definitely a creature of habit. 

At the same time, I like a good challenge. 

It's a quandary, for sure.  I have been in my current job for four years and in this department for seven years.  In many ways, I am ready for a change.  But there are thoughts that are holding me back from opening the door to a new job, a new challenge. 

I want to stay with the company that I currently work for.  Which should be possible, as it is a huge company with a variety of different operations within a reasonable commute from my home.  I need to keep my benefits, especially health benefits.  I would be able to keep DD in her daycare, with her friends.  This is good for both of us, she gets to stay with her friends, I get peace of mind.  At a premium price.  But that's a topic for another time. 

There are surprisingly few job opportunities at my level for a licensed attorney outside of the formal legal department.  And the reason I'm not looking for a job in the legal department because they won't hire me.  Despite all the internal experience I have, I don't have five to ten years of experience in a big law firm, so they won't consider me for an attorney position.  I'm okay with this.  I've never had an interest in working eighty-hour-or-longer weeks.  If I were, I would have that big firm experience they want.  Work life balance was important to me even before DD was born. 

I also find it frustrating that I can't get hired in an area that I technically don't have experience in, but I do have the skills to learn the job and excel at it. I know the company, and I know the business. 

How am I supposed to gain experience in an area if no one will give me a chance to prove that I can do it?  Conversely, how do I convince someone to hire me if I don't have the exact, minute experience that they are requiring? 

Let's put those questions aside for a moment.  I'm also going to put aside the fact that in this economy, there is more competition for fewer jobs, with more qualified applicants than ever before.  Let's focus on why I am ambivalent about that next opportunity.  Every now and then, an opportunity that I would have jumped at in the past comes across my desk.  I should jump at it now, right?  I hesitate every time.  I'm psyching myself right out of the job market.  Questions immediately start running through my head.  I'm going to tackle these one at a time in hopes of putting them to rest forever.  If I can't, maybe someone can comment and tell me how I can look at it differently. 

What if I don't like the boss/the management style?

There are variations on this one, but they all really boil down to this. It's not like I haven't dealt with change in this area before.  In a two year stretch, I had eight different bosses.  Yes, eight.  In. Two. Years.  And believe it or not, it's actually gotten worse since then.  I lost count at some point, partially because of my maternity leave.  So it's in the range of twelve in three or four years.  I haven't reported into the same boss for more than five months at a time due to reorganizations and bosses moving to new positions. There have been many different management styles in that time.  I should be used to change.  Heck, I might even gain more stability.  Not sure why this is such an issue for me.

What if there is no flexibility/less flexibility than my current job?

My company offers a great many flexibility options.  However, it is the discretion of each individual manager as to whether one can take advantage of them.  In the past I have requested job sharing, reducing my hours to part-time or working from home a set day or two per week.  All of these requests for formal flexibility have been denied.  There is informal flexibility that I can take advantage of on a less regular basis.  Things like working from home on occasion, coming in later and leaving later as opposed to a strict 9-5, or going to doctor's appointments during the day.  I need to turn around my thinking on this one - my question should be: what if there is a lot more flexibility and I am missing out on a great opportunity for a job I would love that would fit well with my life outside of work?

What if I don't like the work?

I don't really have an answer for this one.  I like what I do now, and I am an expert in the subject matter, but it's not an area I can come back to if I move on.  The only answer I can come up with is that if I don't like it, I can always look for another opportunity after the commitment time has expired.  Wouldn't it be great if you could test drive a job?

What if I don't mesh with the other people on the team?

I've got nothing on this one.

Do I really want to be a people manager again?

Don't get me wrong, I loved the people on my team, and I really enjoyed helping them to grow.  The issue is really more with workload.  Being a people manager is like having a job and a half for the same pay as someone at the same level who doesn't manage people.  And there is a lot of paperwork involved, to the extent that it is overwhelming.  If I had an administrative assistant to help with this, different story.  But that's not part of the deal. 

People management also potentially means additional folks keeping tabs on comings and goings.  I work out my schedule with my manager.  I am flexible with those who work for me and my philosophy is, worry about yourself, not about your neighbor (or your manager).  If someone isn't pulling their weight, there will be consequences. Not everyone shares this same philosophy and some are just tattle tales.  Not sure I am ready to deal with this again.  It's a question of whether the positives outweigh the negatives, and I just don't know if they do. 

What if the commute turns out to be horrible?

I am so spoiled when it comes to commuting.  I live five miles from my office.  I believe there are three traffic lights.  This is not to say that I haven't paid my dues.  I spent several years with a commute that took an hour or more to go the ten miles to the office.  The same drive takes fifteen minutes when it isn't rush hour.  I hate that.  The problem is that some of the other offices my company has would involve that exact same commute.  I just don't think I can deal with it. 

Why can't I find a job share or a part time job at my current level?

This is my own personal holy grail.  I hear that it exists, even within my company.  I wonder why these arrangements aren't more common, especially the job share.  Is it just me, or doesn't it seem like a win-win situation?  It would cost the company less financially and give them two employees who are more motivated, more engaged and more productive?  Isn't this the definition of "do more with less"?

When it comes down to it, I need to push myself to change.  So I am going to just grit my teeth, close my eyes, hit submit, and say a little prayer that I find the right job for me.  Wish me luck!!

Dancing Muppets and Childhood Muppet Memories

I love the Muppets.  I have loved them for as long as I can remember.  There were only a few shows I can remember my family watching all together.  MacGyver and The Muppet Show are two that really stand out.  Looking back, I realize that we didn't watch that much tv.  We heard the words, "Go outside and play" on a regular basis.  My peanut isn't old enough for that yet, but it has been pretty easy to limit her tv consumption.  She is just a busy little bee, for the most part she would rather play and run around than sit and watch tv.  Which is just fine with me! Recently she has started to show interest in certain things on tv, mainly Cinderella.  She can also identify Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and Miss Piggy.  She still calls Kermit "Frog".  She is turning two, and generally only watches 5-15 minutes of tv at a time.  I will watch Danicing with the Stars when she's around, as it is generally good clean fun.  She loves music and will dance along to the fast numbers.  Of course, she also thinks that all the female dancers are Cinderella.  I watch it on our DVR, and last week it took me a long time to get through it, I was watching it in 15 - 30 minute chunks.  (side note - I like to DVR this one because I can fast forward through most of the filler content, especially in the results show).  Peanut has also seen a few episodes of the Muppet Show on dvd, and is captivated by Miss Piggy right now.  Last week, she kept asking, "Piggy, Dancin'?" She made it very clear that she wanted Miss Piggy to appear on Dancing with the Stars.  I kept trying to explain that they were on two separate shows and that I do not have the magical powers necessary to make Miss Piggy appear on DWTS.  She shook her head at me each time and repeated, "Miss Piggy, Dancin'!" On Friday, I heard a teaser for this week's DWTS - and the Muppets are going to be on DWTS this week!  I must admit, I'm a little freaked out by this - she fished her wish!  Though it shouldn't be too surprising, since the movie comes out this week and ABC is a Disney property.  Yet the thought never crossed my mind.  Maybe my two year old has a future in marketing, as she drew this logical conclusion with no prompting.  There is no way she saw an ad for it or heard anything about it before the teaser I heard.  She just wanted to see Miss Piggy on DWTS.  Two of her favorite things, joined together.  It sounds like the Muppets will be dancing to a new song from the movie.  I am like a little kid, I can't wait to see it!

On the subject of The Muppets (the movie), I am hoping it lives up to the hype.  I did enjoy Muppets from Space, but for the most part, the Muppets have really just not been the same for me since Jim Henson passed away.  I am optimistic that this movie will bring a return to the Muppets I knew and loved growing up.  Now I just have to find a way to sneak out of my house to see it in the theater...I'm guessing other moviegoers wouldn't want to sit next to a very active two year old. 

Smile! Awkward School Photos

The daycare that my daughter attends ranges from infant all the way up through Kindergarten.  Perhaps for this reason, each fall they have the equivalent of school photos.  The photographic studio they used this year is the same company that took many of my school photos when I was growing up.  Being mother of the year, I forgot that it was picture day until I walked into the classroom at drop off and saw how cute all the other kids looked.  My poor child was in need of a haircut or at least pigtails and still had some of her breakfast on her face.  On the upside, she was at least wearing a cute outfit...but only because the play clothes I had planned on for that day were too small.  Since they had seen better days, it was fortunate that they were more than a smidge too small, because I have been known to send her in clothes that are on the cusp.  Clothes are expensive!  But I digress.  I wiped her face (I would have done this anyway, regardless of photos, I swear!) and her teachers very kindly let me know that she could get retakes the very next day, as the photographer would still be on-site.  At pick up, I learned that my little momma did her best that day to get her friends to smile for their photos. The next day we arrived promptly, nicely dressed and with her hair combed into pigtails.  She very graciously allowed me to put the pigtails in that morning, which is not the norm.  Then she refused to smile for her photos.  Her teacher was jumping around like crazy in the background trying to get her to crack a smile for even a split second.  (Her teacher is the best, love her!  It must have been hysterical watching her jump around.)

As a result of all this, I was kind kind of anxiously awaiting the proofs.  We got them last night.  There are two sets.  In the ones where her hair is a little goofy (so clearly in need of a trim!), she has an angelic smile.  In the ones where she is spiffed up, she is making faces.  One has a hint of a smile.  So I am in a quandary as to whether to buy any of them! 

Seeing the proofs really took me back to my own school photos.  I remember having them taken, thinking that I looked fine.  Then getting the proofs and seeing that my hair was sticking up or my collar was pointing in a funky direction or I was caught mid blink.  I still think those photographers should have fixed the obvious and simple things.  Like collars.  Or they should have at least mentioned it and given me a chance to quickly fix it myself.  I would say 85% of my school pictures were cringe-worthy, and I sincerely believe that there are others who feel the same way.  I hope, for my daughter's sake, that digital photography has eliminated at least some of these issues, like the eyes half mast or mid-sneeze photos.  For the other things, like her mother forgetting it was picture day when she was a toddler, well, I guess she's out of luck.  I never would have thought that this would start so early, at least I was five before I had my first school photo.  I feel a little bad that there is the potential for more of these embarrassing photos for my daughter than there were for me.  Oh well...let the awkward school photos begin!

I'm All A - Twitter - About Finding a Profile Pic

I've been on Twitter for a few weeks now, and I love it.  So many interesting people and great links, I have to find time to talk to them and read them all.  It's expanded my horizons in a big way.  The downside is that I really believe I'm letting my vanity impede my full entry into the Twitterverse...I can't find a picture of myself that I like enough to add to my profile as my avatar.  Thus, I have been operating with the dreaded egghead for way too long!  It is pretty clear that people don't trust you if you don't have a photo.  And I can understand it, I'm usually the same way.  I just never thought it would be so hard to come up with one.  It was only after I started trying to find a profile pic that I realized that I haven't been photographed alone in several years.  All my photos are focused on my daughter, I tend to be looking at her or I'm making a really goofy face, caught unprepared.  Also, I'm generally the one behind the camera taking the pictures, so I'm not in many at all. This is something that I need to work on, as I really don't want my daughter to grow up and wonder why I'm not in any photos from her childhood.  I'm sure I am not the only one in this boat, though I would feel much better about this if others would chime in and confirm it!  I know I need to just take a picture and get it up there, but I also want to put my best foot forward.  So I keep telling myself I'll do it after I get my hair colored and cut.  Or that I need to do it on a day when I'm wearing makeup - I almost never wear makeup even though I am at the point where I really need to.  Red blotchiness is not pretty!  And it certainly doesn't photograph well.  As you can imagine, the excuses go on and on and on...

Halloween Hangover & Recap

From all the sugar consumed yesterday!  Not getting many trick or treaters means lots of candy left over.  I know I should buy candy I don't like, but then I feel like I've wasted money.  It's a personal Catch 22.  I was sitting in a four hour long meeting this morning regretting not having brought the candy to work with me.  I missed a golden opportunity to unload the leftover candy and sugar up an otherwise uneventful meeting. 

I'm tired, but all the running around was worth it.  DD loved trick or treating.  What's not to love?  I hadn't been trick or treating since I was a teenager, but I enjoyed it as much this year as I did back then.  At first she was happy just to be putting her costume on and going for a ride in the stroller.  I'm not sure why the stroller is a novelty to her now, but I'm happy it is because it means I don't have to carry her when she decides she doesn't want to walk anymore.  She's getting heavy! Then she realized that each house was giving her chocolate, her favorite food.  She quickly figured out that if she said, "more, pease!" that most of the kind people giving out candy would give her more.  "Tank you!"  She started shopping through her goody bag about five houses in, quickly identifying the chocolate and requesting, "Open, pease!" in a happy little singsong.  Fortunately, we had anticipated this and had a little bag of m&ms that could be meted out one at a time every few houses.  When she's bigger we will make clear the "no eating the candy until we get home" rule.  For now, she's two.  She will have forgotten all about the m&ms by next year.  And I have hidden her candy from this year, to be dispensed gradually.  I had a nightmare about finding her in the living room with wrappers strewn around her, giggling and bouncing off the walls for hours.  I'm just not ready for that yet. 

I suspect that I will not be allowed to put her costume away.  She has asked to wear it for the last 4 days in a row.  I see a project for mommy in the not so distant future...starting a dress up box.  I should probably get a toybox for the rest of her toys first, should add both to my to-do list.  Check. 

I think DH really enjoyed trick or treating too.  Pretty sure he was just humoring me initially, but he had a good time.  I got him a "costume" at the dollar store - glasses with a nose and mustache attached.  I thought he would mock me but figured it was worth $1 to find out.  Surprisingly, he did not mock and did wear them.  He even rigged them up to make them fit him!  Woohoo!  I love Halloween, so i am disappointed when he is grinchy about it.  I think it helped that we went trick or treating with our next door neighbors and their three kids, and that he saw a few other dads out.  The plan for next year is to hit a couple key houses on our street and then head over a couple blocks to an area with sidewalks and houses that are closer together.  Now I just need three costume ideas for next year...

Halloween Festivities and Nostalgia

I have a feeling that by this time next week, I will be all Halloweened out.  I love Halloween and all it's accompaniments, so we cover a lot of ground this time of year.  Going pumpkin picking, carving or painting pumpkins, decorating our porch and living room, finding a costume for my DD, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", trick or treating, Halloween parades and fall festivals at school, and, of course, eating chocolate.  Halloween falling on a Monday seems to have drawn the celebration out some, as the festivities at DD's daycare are starting on Thursday with special Halloween treats for the kids during the day.  For some reason, they decided to have the Halloween parade and party on Friday instead of Monday, so I am just now realizing that we will be dressing up Friday, Saturday and Monday.  Whew.  Saturday is a costume/birthday party and a Philadelphia Flyers game.  Sunday will be for Mommy to recover from running and driving all over creation, and then Monday is trick or treating.  Since DD is only 2, this consists of hitting a couple of friends' houses in the neighborhood and a nice brisk walk with the stroller.  I hope. 

I love Halloween and used to love getting dressed up.  Some of this is nostalgia for my childhood; I trick or treated until I was 18.  This may sound strange to some, but it was the standard in the town I grew up in.  There were as many teenagers roaming the streets in costume as there were little ones.  And the vast majority were legitimate trick or treaters, not annoying teenagers terrorizing small children.  Almost no one was too cool to get dressed up and go out.  We would develop a strategy for hitting the largest number of houses possible in the time before the 8 pm curfew. My mom kept ballpark counts of the number of trick or treaters who came to our house, and 100 or more was pretty standard.  My mom often says that one of the things she liked about our small town was that it seemed that kids were able to be kids longer there, and Halloween is a good example of what she meant. 

I also had the advantage of having parents who were willing to invest time and resources into creating homemade costumes.  My brother and I had some really great costumes over the years.  My mom sewed and my dad was willing to figure out ways to manipulate things like corrugated cardboard into various shapes and providing painting assistance when needed.  My mom sewed a beautiful Snow White costume for me before the days of Disney mass production.  I had witch, princess, bride, flapper costumes, all homemade.  I am excited for the day in the near future when I can go through the costume box my mom kept and hopefully DD will want to wear some of them. Some of our more complicated costumes involved more than a sewing machine to manufacture.  A (cardboard) book, lady on a pedestal (the pedestal did not fare well during trick or treating), St George on his horse, Pixie sitting on a toadstool (toadstool didn't survive), jellyfish...I know there are more, but these are the ones coming to mind right now.   My husband is not a fan of Halloween, and I think his parents' disinterest is part of the reason for this.  They basically left him to his own devices in finding costumes from a young age and didn't provide the creative support that both of my parents did.

I'm determined that Halloween will be fun for DD, but I have some obstacles to overcome.  I don't know how to work a sewing machine.  It's never too late to learn, but I also don't have much in the way of free time to develop these skills.  I will figure this one out as I go along, not going to worry about it at this point.  Thus far I have been able to get high quality costumes for her either for free (hand-me-downs) or at very reasonable prices.  Next obstacle is the neighborhood we live in.  I love where we live most of the time, but we are in a most undesirable trick or treating neighborhood!  We get less than 5 kids per year knocking on our door on Halloween.  Our street is a dead end with no sidewalks, long driveways and no good shortcuts from house to house because of hills and retaining walls.  I think my best way around this one as she gets more into the years for trick or treating is going to be to develop a new tradition of trick or treating with friends who live across town.

As we creep closer to Halloween, I'm looking forward to dressing my little witch!!  We are a dog family, but for one day, I will be a black cat for DD - but shh, don't tell our German Shepherd.

October 31, 2011:  My prediction in this post came true...today is actually Halloween and I am exhausted!  Of course, I failed to predict the snowstorm that deposited 5 inches of snow here on Saturday.  I've never seen a white Halloween before!  I'm just hoping it's warm enough to hit the houses of some good friends before heading home tonight.  Wish me luck!

Mother of the Year and Best Wife Ever Moments

Today feels like a Monday.  I have had several mother of the year moments already today, and it's not even noon yet.  The baby and I went to my parents house for two days to visit with my aunt and uncle in from out west.  We had a lot of fun but it was definitely like being on vacation.  My brain checked out.  It has yet to check back in.  Today is our wedding anniversary, and I did buy my husband a card.  I can't find it, but I definitely bought one.  On Friday.  So it's not like I've had a long time to misplace it.  I know I stashed it somewhere so that he wouldn't see it.  But I can't remember where! In the spirit of full disclosure, I will say that I could hide my own Easter eggs...I hide things "in a safe place", never to be seen again.  So safe, I can't even find them.  Over time, I've developed a couple good spots and consistently use them, that way I know where to check when I can't find stashed items.  Sadly, when I'm in a hurry, sometimes I veer off course on this practice.  That seems to be what I did with the anniversary card.  Maybe I'll find it in time to give it to him next year.  Sigh.  Now I have to find a few minutes to sneak out and grab another card before I go home. 

My lucky streak continued when I arrived at daycare to drop my daughter off.  It's picture day.  I knew two weeks ago that today was picture day.  But I completely spaced.  Fortunately, I didn't dress her in the well worn hand me down play clothes that I had originally planned for today.  I noticed that the sleeves were a little short, so I ditched those clothes and grabbed the next closest outfit, which was actually a new outfit.  Thank goodness!  Her hair is getting long, and needs a trim.  It looks really cute in pigtails, which she has let me put in exactly one time.  It is superfine, so without pigtails or barrettes (which she loves to play with but refuses to wear), it gets messy looking very quickly.  Of course she had untameable bedhead this morning that will require a bath to correct, which we did not have time for this morning.  Walked into the classroom, saw all the other kids dressed nice and with super cute clothes and hair styles.  Had to confess that I completely forgot.  Ugh.  The teachers were very kind about it, but were definitely looking at me funny.  Oh well.  One thing is for sure, this won't be the last time this happens.  I have frequent mother of the year moments.  Hopefully my brain will start to function again before the end of the day.  If not, I'm in trouble, this is going to be a fun week!

Welcome to Backwardville: Adventures with Solar Panels and Bureaucracy

I live in a backwards town.  If I had known 11 years ago what I know today, I would live somewhere else.  No question.  I'm not even going to get into what I pay in taxes and how few services we receive. Unfortunately, I love our house and our property.  It's finally getting to where we've been trying to get it.  We started putting an addition on in 2007 - blew out half of the back and tore the roof off.  This gave us space for an expanded kitchen, a laundry room/back hallway, and a master suite upstairs.  It was quite a process, we ended up with a bonus room we hadn't planned on, which was good.  There were many bad things that happened along the way too.  We had to deal with an incompetent architect and town inspectors who were not the brightest in addition to the normal bumps in the road that come with a construction project of this magnitude.  We had no kitchen for 3 years.  Yup, you read that right.  3 years.  I need to get around to writing a full post about the whole addition experience.  For now, suffice it to say, I love my new kitchen, bedroom, closet and bathroom and am not moving anytime soon.  Or ever. 

Days like today make me rethink that.  When we did the addition we also put solar panels on our roof.  They are great.  We are doing the right thing for the environment and get the added bonus of great savings on our electric bill.  The way they are installed, most people don't even notice them, they blend right into the roof.  They have worked out so well that we decided to go a step further and investigated solar hot water systems.  We found one that will be great for us and we decided to move forward with it.  It will really help us in the summer especially, as we don't have a traditional hot water heater.  Our water is heated through our furnace, thus in summer, our boiler can't be shut off and cycles on periodically throughout the day to maintain the supply of hot water.  The new system would produce enough hot water to enable us to shut off the boiler during the summer and reducing the amount of oil we burn. 

All good things, right?  One would think that local government would want to encourage homeowners to be green and to improve their properties.  In my town, one would be wrong.  Our permit application came back three weeks after submission, marked with a denial.  The denial simply states, "Solar panels cannot extend more than 8 inches beyond rooftop. Variance required"  Being an attorney, I want more.  Give me an ordinance citation at least.  I also have anecdotal evidence in addition to my own experience that there is almost nothing that you can do in this town that does not require a variance.  My view on this is that the town is trying to get more money out of its homeowners.  In addition, this town requires permits for projects that most other towns do not.  Really, a zoning permit for residential solar panels in a residential neighborhood? We didn't need a zoning permit for the first solar installation.  Ridiculous.  So my husband ventures down to the zoning office to acquire more information on the specific ordinance and what options are open to us from here.  The information he walks away with is astounding.  I was glad I was sitting down when he called me to share it. Drum roll, please.  The ordinance that caused our permit to be denied is not even in effect yet.  It's proposed, but hasn't been adopted.  The mayor is really pushing it though, because apparently my town has an issue with unsightly solar panel installations.  Seriously!?! 

I've never even heard of a situation where someone tried to enforce a statute or ordinance before it was in effect.  I wasn't aware that enforcing laws that don't exist was possible.  We also learned that the town's attorney specifically reviewed our application.  My question upon hearing this tidbit is this:  Is he stupid or is he trying to pull a fast one, figuring that a naive homeowner won't question the denial and will just pony up the extra $$ to apply for a variance and put out the effort that such an application requires?  I'm not sure, but I suspect the latter.  It may be because I am emotionally invested here, but I feel like my town is out to squeeze every dollar they can out of me while providing the lowest return on investment possible. 

Unfortunately for the town, we are not naive homeowners.  We've gone a few rounds with the town in the past, we have brains and mouths and aren't afraid to use either in situations like this one.  My husband began asking more questions about our options after the denial.  Both options (appeal or application for variance) require a significant investment of both time and money.  Weighing these and determining that the variance will likely be less onerous in the short term, he asked what the wording on the required notice will be, since the town provides it and it has to include the variance citation.  Unable to answer his questions, they indicated they would investigate and get back to him.  Happily, when the clerk called him back, she let him know that the decision had been made to rescind the denial of our application.  Sadly, now they have to send it to the building department and they have 3 weeks to act on it.  Sigh.  We won this battle, but I have a feeling the war is not yet over.  Fingers crossed that the application gets approved without further obstacles.   

Oh, yeah, and way to be green, Mr. Mayor.  I'm glad you're looking out for what is really important long term for the residents of our town.

Sweet Toddler of Mine

I love the developmental and emotional stage my daughter is currently in.  I will preface this with a disclaimer:  Yes, I think my kid is really cute and I know I am biased.  I am her mother after all.  In the interests of full disclosure, I do not think everything she does is cute.  I know that she is not perfect.  She does things I do NOT like and that I am trying like crazy to nip in the bud so that they don't become habit.  This post is not about those things, but rest assured, they exist.  I'm sure I will be posting about them later.  That said, this post is about cute and sweet things she does that I love and that I know I will miss when she is a teenager.  If that is not your cup of tea, I suggest you stop reading now.  Disclaimer over.  On to the fun!

She is super cute with the fractured sentences she has started to put together.  Though many of them are focused on bossing me around, I can't help but smile.  This sometimes makes it hard to discipline her because I can't keep a straight face.  She is getting more verbal by the day and she has a mostly sunny disposition.  The terrible twos have not yet hit with full force.  She has tantrums, don't get me wrong. And boy is she stubborn. (I am sticking by my story that she gets that from her father.  100%.  My mother tells me it won't hold up in court.  Hmm.)  But her tantrums are more like a passing summer shower than a massive hurricane.

She will sit still long enough for me to read at least a couple pages of her books to her.  I was a little worried early on because everyone says to read to your baby from day one.  Which worked until my baby girl became mobile.  Reading to her required chasing her around the house and/or trying to read two words before she flipped through 5 pages in 1.5 seconds.  Now she will sit and participate, pointing to characters or objects she knows, identifying colors, and otherwise enjoying the story.  She still flips multiple pages and gets impatient if the story is too long, but on the whole, reading with her is a lot of fun.

Monkeys are her favorite.  "Monkeeee!"  She loves the 5 Little Monkeys song and will shake her finger and sing along, "No more monkey jump bed!" when we come to the line, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"  If we happen to be in bed at the time, she will also jump on the bed, sit down, and pat her head while saying, "bump".  Smart girl!

 She sat still for pigtails for the first time yesterday...and actually left them in!  Woo hoo, progress!  This is good, because she won't keep barrettes in.  I was beginning to think about keeping her hair cut short until she's old enough to take care of it herself.

She will take her little people and put them in their beds or arrange them around a table.  She likes to pour tea for Mommy and Daddy and herself and "drink" it.  By the way, love this little tea set, one of the cutest toys ever!  She will talk to her little people, which is also really cute.  She sounds just like Boo from Monsters, Inc.  Love that!

She runs everywhere.  She climbs the steps very well.  Despite her mother having a heart attack from time to time watching her do so.  She loves to play with sidewalk chalk and blow bubbles.  She will finally wear the swimming bubble that lets her be as independent as she would like to be in the pool.  (Of course, just in time for cold weather.  Guess we'll be joining our local YMCA this winter.) She seems to think that she can swim already.  This one is cute and stressful at the same time.

If she thinks I am not paying close enough attention to her, she will very gently put her palms on my cheeks and turn my head, looking earnestly into my eyes while trying to get me to understand what she wants.  This is one of the things I know I will miss when she truly becomes a big kid.  It's right up there with how she holds my hand as we walk along and putting her arms around my neck and her head on my shoulder when I carry her.  She's getting too heavy for me, but I know I will carry her like that as long as I can because the day will soon arrive when she doesn't want that anymore.

She is in that stage where she refers to herself in the third person.  She has been able to say her own name for quite a while now, and says it clearly and with glee.  There is a happy exclamation point at the end of it, I can almost see it when she says it.  We found naming her to be a challenge, we wanted to make sure we got it right since it will be with her forever.  Hearing her proclaim it so clearly and with such verve, it is another affirmation that we got it right.  I can't imagine her with any other name now.

Of all the things my sweet girl is doing now, my favorite is this:  when I arrive to pick her up or come home from being out and about without her, her little face lights up with a big smile, she says, "Mommmeeee" and comes running for a big hug.  It doesn't get any better than that!!

It's Fire Prevention Week!

Like most kids, my daughter loves fire trucks.  Her daddy is a volunteer firefighter, so she gets to see them often.  She sees a fire truck go by and declares, "Daddy.  Truck.  House." Translation:  I see a fire truck, I know my daddy rides in fire trucks, and that fire trucks are kept in a firehouse.  Sirens get her attention in a positive way, not a negative one - she never cries, she looks to see where it is and where it is going.  She has multiple toy fire trucks and firefighters and fire hats at home.  All of these things are why I was surprised this week by her reaction to fire prevention week activities. She goes to daycare in an adjoining city, and so their local fire department brought a truck over for the annual fire prevention week visit.  She saw the firefighter in full turnout gear, turned around, and ran to her teacher for comfort!  She did really enjoy getting to climb into the engine and check it out.  I'm still trying to figure out what went through her little head! The only thing I can come up with is that maybe she realized that the guy in the gear wasn't her daddy, and that spooked her?  I don't know.

For the adults out there, a public service announcement.  Make sure your home has operational smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors and fire extinguishers, and that you know how to work all of them!!  Also, the upcoming daylight savings time changeover is a great time to change the batteries in your smoke detector!  Many fire companies have open houses this weekend that invite the community in to see who they are and what they do and have activities and giveaways for the whole family.  I highly recommend checking out your local company.  

Thank you to all firefighters who dedicate time and effort to protecting the lives and property of others!!

Nap Time Outings

I love nap time.  I think most moms will agree with me that it is a perfect example of a win-win situation.  It can play out a number of different ways:  I nap with her (one of my favorite things to do on a weekend afternoon); I get things done around the house (prep work, cooking, folding laundry, yardwork, the to-do list never ends); or I get some true "me" time to do whatever I choose.  As an aside (you may have noticed I have never met a tangent I didn't like!) - household chores, grocery shopping, hiding for 5 minutes in the bathroom, bedroom, closet or garage do not count as me time.  Though from time to time they are all necessary to maintain Momma's sanity! 

My challenge with nap time comes up when we have plans to go somewhere that conflicts in some way with nap time.  It used to be easier, if the outing involved a car ride of at least 30 - 45 minutes, then my daughter would fall asleep in the car and get at least a power nap that would hold her until bedtime.  Unfortunately, a couple weeks ago she started to stay awake for the entire car ride.  Once we get where we are going, it's usually way too interesting for her to go to sleep.  We are there for a few hours and then head home.  At this point I am usually trying to keep her awake because it's after 5 pm and sleep now will delay dinner and push bedtime back until at least midnight.  Without fail, she falls deeply asleep. 

She is definitely not ready to give up her daily nap - nor am I!  But I feel like I am missing something here.  If we plan around nap time, we end up never leaving the house.  Fall is a really busy time for us, we have plans of some kind almost every weekend.  Birthday parties, shopping outings, play dates, the list goes on and on.  Most of these involve being outside, and she and I both love being outside and that will be a lot harder during the winter months.  This also makes me reluctant to hang out at home just for nap time. 

Am I the only one who is trying to figure this out?  I will also throw out there that we have always been an on the go family, we took our daughter out to a restaurant at 4 days old.  It usually works for us.  It'll work for us again, once I figure out how to make it work with this phase.  I'd really love to hear from you how you deal with this nap quandary - any ideas?

Making New Friends

I must admit that I get a little worried sometimes that my daughter is going to wildly misbehave when she meets a new little friend.  Am I the only one?  It's not based in reality, as I know that there are going to be times when she just does not get along with another kid.  There will be personality conflicts, there will be tantrums for any reason or no reason.  All part of life and growing up.  But I can't help noticing that my parenting is being judged on her behavior.  Again, I dismiss it pretty much immediately, because it doesn't matter what other people think - pretty much every parenting decision I've ever made makes me a bad parent in someone's eyes.  But it flits through my mind.  I'm never going to let it get in the way of my daughter meeting new kids, that would be wrong.  Especially because she is such a social little girl.  She loves other kids, especially those who are smaller than she is.  "Bay-beee!!" 

In reality, we get a lot of compliments on our daughter's behavior.  Which makes me feel a little funny too.  I've always had to work at taking compliments graciously, especially if I don't feel like I did anything to earn them. We spent Saturday with a couple of dear friends and the one year old niece of one of those friends.  The one year old is a sweet baby, very mobile and with her own mischievous twinkle.  She has the sweetest dimpled smile!  The two had a great time together - my daughter noticed how much the baby liked french fries and started feeding her my fries at dinner.  My daughter also made quite an impression on the adults that she met for the first time that evening, and we've been invited to come back.  Such a nice feeling!!

On Sunday, we started doing the legwork on yet another possible home improvement project.  We are looking for a wood stove insert for our fireplace.  (Hooray!  The beauty of a wood fire without sucking all the heat out of the house and up the chimney!)  My daughter does pretty well out and about in stores, but there are so many variables that go into it.  Has she had her nap?  Is she hungry?  How restrictive do I have to be with wandering?  How kid-friendly is the store/staff?  I was actually surprised at how well this went, because I thought I would have to have her on lock down in a woodstove/fireplace showroom.  Fortunately, there was only one unit that was lit in the area that we were in, and it was easy to keep her clear of it.  They also had toys in store (though we had brought a few of our own just in case).  Several members of the staff commented on how happy and patient she was.  She was very good, though I hate that phrase, because I feel like it's used in inappropriate contexts, i.e. that people expect young children to be "good" even when their main form of communication is crying and body language. But I digress.

She had a great weekend, several fun outings despite rainy weather.  I love fall, but at the same time am sad that summer is over.  I am already getting nostalgic for warm days spent entirely outside!

Out with the Old, In with the New...Ideally

I'm so happy it's Friday.  This has been a super long week. Though not without high points, it has just been crazy busy.  Work has both ups and downs (am on a very exciting project that I have a lot to contribute to, but have to deal with a difficult co-worker), and home life is non-stop as usual.  We went furniture shopping yet again, but with different results this time.  Woohoo!  We found a living room set that we could agree on that also fits in our budget! I was beginning to think it would never happen and we would be sitting on the floor after the old sofa finally gave up the ghost...which was very close to happening.  It started to feel like buying a car.  On the final visit Wednesday night, we had it narrowed down to two almost identical sets.  Then came the sitting on one, moving to the other.  Rinse and repeat.  This went on for an hour easily, as my husband wanted to be sure about which one he liked better.  Factor in 3 trips to the potty for our 22 month old.  Oh, and of course the sets we were looking at were at the farthest part of the store away from the restroom.  Other than the trips to the restroom, she did great, happily sitting on the furniture in the showroom, playing with a balloon, and eating the non-staining snacks I brought along.  Then the signing and initialing 6 copies of paper work.  We finally got out of there at 9:15.  So that was a long, though victorious, evening.

Happily, they scheduled the delivery very quickly.  Sadly, that meant scrambling to get the old sofa out and the love seat temporarily parked in the living room to another temporary holding spot upstairs.  I was the only one around to help my husband with this.  Hmm.  We do not have a good history with moving furniture together.  Every time we attempt it, I remember that I never ever want to move again.  I do fine with other friends, but he and I do not do well in this particular arena.  I think the fact that I am 5'1" and he is 6'2" has a lot to do with it.  Our daughter got very upset when we started to move the sofa, which surprised me.  She sat in the dining room pointing to where the sofa had been and saying, "No, sofa back!"  Other than that, we did okay, got everything moved without any muttering about divorce and no trip to the ER.  Always a plus.  

I figured today would be easy, my husband will take delivery of the furniture, I'll call for bulk pickup of the old sofa and carpet.  Easy peasy.  Ha.  I should have known better.    

I called the town to schedule a bulk pickup and the lady who answers the phone tells me that I have to wait until January because they discontinue bulk pickup to do leaf pickup.  Okay.  For 3 MONTHS!?!  I'm thinking that my neighbors probably do not want to look at the 10 year old blue velvet sofa out in front of my house for that long.  The more she insists that I can either bring the stuff to the dump myself or have to wait til January, the more frustrated I become.  Putting aside the fact that almost no leaves have actually fallen from the trees yet, our town has very high taxes and it is becoming clearer by the day that residents get almost NO services for them.  We have to pay for weekly trash pickup, for sewer service, trying to get get permits to get work done is a challenge (and don't get me started on the time a township inspector lectured me that the town is involved in my addition to protect me, but missed the fact that there was no structural support designed for our new second floor), and I could go on and on.  And now I can add to the list that the first time in the 11 years that we've lived here and needed bulk pickup, they aren't doing them.  I asked the woman on the phone what services I get for the $xx,xxx tax dollars I pay every year.  She told me I was being nasty to her.  I really wasn't.  I didn't threaten her, get aggressive or curse at her.  I just asked her questions she couldn't answer.  She, however, was snide to me from the minute I said the words, "bulk pickup".  When I said I was going to just put it out at the curb and leave it there, she demanded my address.  I wasn't sure whether that was because she was scheduling me for a pickup after all or if it was so she could send code enforcement to give me a ticket.  Thankfully, she deigned to schedule a special pickup for me.  Whew.  I am relieved that I don't have to look at that thing for 3 more months.  

The fun continues.  Our house has three doors.  The sofa won't fit through two of them.  (I again curse the architect who designed our addition.)  The third one has a 90 degree turn immediately and this thing can't possibly make the turn.  So they have to bring it in through the kitchen window, over the island, through the dining room and finally make it into the living room.  Am I the only one who is happy to not be present for things like this?  I get so stressed by stuff like this.  It's just better if I'm not even there.  I'm not sure why I get so worked up.  Not being home is better.  I do something else to take my mind off of it and I get a call after it's all over.

And I just got that call.  Hooray!  Bring on the weekend, I am ready to collapse onto the new sofa! 

I Don't Know How She Does It, Either

Mainly because I don't have time to go to the movies.  Since the birth of my daughter almost 2 years ago, I have been to the movies less than 5 times.  Dinner and a movie with the girls used to be a weekend staple, we'd go at least once or twice a month.  When A was a newborn, she was a demanding nursling and flat out refused to take a bottle, so she and I pretty much went everywhere together.  I've seen people bring tiny little ones into the movies and the baby somehow sleeps through the entire movie.  My daughter has always been way too interested in everything around her for that to ever happen.  I have finally managed to start reading books again,  thanks to my kindle and audio books from audible.com. I know it's cheating, but I don't care.  I missed books!

In recent months it has gotten easier from the perspective of being apart for several hours at a time.  But to be honest, after a busy week, I'm a little afraid that I'll fall asleep in that nice dark, kid free theater.  Also, if I try to pack too much into the weekend, I lose my prep time for the coming week.  I need to make at least two week night dinners (or do most of the prep work) so as not to resort to pasta and sauce for multiple nights in a row.  My toddler sticks her nose up if a menu selection appears on the table too often.  My little foodie in the making.  For the record, the response she receives is, "That's what's for dinner.  I'm not a short order cook."  There are definitely times that I hear things my parents said to me as a kid coming out of my mouth.  But that's a post for another time.

What was my point?  Oh, right, movies.  There have been a few this year that I wanted to see really badly, which made it worth the ten bucks and the 2 hours to see.  Fortunately, they lived up to my expectations.  In case you were wondering, the top two were:  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2; and The Help.  I really enjoyed both.  Both were not as good as the books they were adapted from, but very well done as movies.  The Help was a great outing too, because I went with a great multi-generational group of women.  It was like a nice big girls night (okay, afternoon) out.

I have plans to see I Don't Know How She Does It, with another great friend.  Maybe I can get some tips.  The previews I've seen make me confident that I'll at least get confirmation that I'm not the only one in this boat!

Bouncing Pumpkins

Today we drove about half an hour to a farmstand to buy pumpkins.  Unfortunately, the pumplin crop this year has been severely impacted by Hurricane Irene, so they only had about half as many pumpkins out as they usually do.  I'm actually hoping that it is also because it's still a little early and they'll be picking more in October.  The place that we go to every year is a nice little place, with mums and other trees and shrubs for sale.  It's a beautiful rural area, a good place to let a toddler run around. She loved it!  She's in that stage where she really thinks that she can carry things that are the same size she is.  "I do it!"  is the quote of the moment.  She had a blast picking out little tiny pumpkins, after we established that the proper way to return the non-chosen ones to the pile is not chucking them back on top.  They also had a little bounce house.  She had never been in one before, but is learning to jump and loves to show this new skill off.  She has progressed to the point where both feet actually leave the ground, but not by much.  Fortunately, the bounce house was empty and she and I could go in alone.  She's a daredevil, but something like this would have overwhelmed and upset her had it been full of big kids.  Her delighted giggles attracted the attention of several passers by, and we got many smiles and kind words from strangers today.  I'm really glad she liked jumping around, because a great friend just gave us a home version bounce around that we will definitely put to good use.  I am a big fan of things that are great exercise, outside and lead to easier nap/bed times due to sheer exhaustion. 

After the pumpkin selecting and bouncing, we went to a Stewart's roadside stand and had rootbeer floats and chili cheese fries.  Being outside works up an appetite.  Yum!

All around, we had a great fall day!!

Making Meal Planning Work for Me

I've always hated being asked, "So, what's for dinner?"  My response tends to be of the smart Alec variety, "Whatever you are making."  Why is it that I have to come up with what is for dinner most nights?  There is nothing in my resume or pedigree that makes me remarkably qualified to be the family chef.  I do enjoy cooking, but not the stressed out desperate attempt to throw together a balanced meal at 6 pm that tends to be the norm in our house.  To be fair, my husband can cook and enjoys cooking certain things, but meal planning is not his forte either.  He will occasionally surprise me by making dinner, usually after a trip to our closest Wegmans. (It's 20 minutes away but worth the trip!)

My husband does most of our grocery shopping, and I've quelled my inner control freak.  For the most part, anyway.  I just make very specific lists, including brands.  The quelled part is where I don't get mad or roll my eyes when he brings home the "wrong" item.  I need to get over it and not let my perfectionism force me to do the grocery shopping.

Tangent over.  Back to my point.  Most days, it's like pulling teeth to find out what my husband wants for dinner.  This made meal planning a challenge, until I realized that he really and truly does not care.  As long as it is not too far outside the known universe of what he will eat, if I put it on the table, he will eat it.  He just likes that there is food and it is cooked and on the table before 10 pm.  (Yes, we have eaten dinner at 10 pm.  Not recently, and not since we had a kid, but yes, we have.)  I read it many places before finally accepting that it is true...meal planning is the only way to go.  On my own, I stink at meal planning.  We would eat the same three things ad infinitum.  And I hated leftovers, which was a problem when we were eating the same thing over and over again.  I was skeptical when I found the Six O'Clock Scramble, but I had to try something new. I discovered the Scramble right around the time that my daughter was really starting to eat big people food.  That's what we call solid foods in our house.  Anyway, around that time I realized that I needed to actually feed her well balanced and nutritious meals and that it would probably be easier to do so from day one rather than trying to fix a bad food situation down the road.

I love the Six O'Clock Scramble.  It really is a great solution, giving you a set 5 day meal plan each week. I should point out, though, that this site requires a subscription after the free trial membership. The beauty of it is the flexibility it offers.  So I can look at the offered menu for the week and switch out recipes based on what my family likes or doesn't like and/or what is in my pantry.  Each recipe on the site has tags like make ahead, freezable, express, vegetarian, and too many others to list here.  I like to mix up the meals I choose to include 1 or 2 that I can make ahead on Sunday and an express for whichever night of the week is going to be crazy.  I also built up my recipe box and stored comments on each recipe that we've tried as to who liked what and what variations I made.  Love it!!  Having a recipe box of stored recipes that we like makes meal planning so much easier.  I do wish that it had more crock pot recipes, because I love my crock pot and use it at least once a week.  But I pick 3 or 4 meals from the Scramble and then fill in 1 or 2 additional from Stephanie O'Dea's Year of Slow Cooking blog.  Voila.  Meal planning done!

This post reminds me, I need to call my husband and have him throw our vegetarian enchiladas (made ahead!) into the oven so they are ready when my munchkin and I get home!  Yum!

Little friends

I love picking my daughter up from daycare.  When I pick her up, I like to sneak in and watch her for a minute until she sees me standing there.  Her little face lights up with a big smile and she runs right over to me.  Of course, she is all business then, so she grabs my hand and drags me over to get her paper (daily report) and then out the door.  Good-byes are not her strong suit.  Then again, neither are hellos.  She has a pretty good vocabulary and she knows hello and bye bye, but she very rarely uses either one.  When I drop her off in the morning, she either snuggles up to me and plays shy - which is totally an act! - or she just dives right in and starts playing with her friends.  Her circle of friends is growing, but the original buddies are still her favorites.  Watching them greet each other is so cute, they are such a sweet little group.  When I drop off or pick up, I get high fives, books brought to me for reading, games of catch initiated, and big smiles and hugs.  I love that!  And I know my daughter does the same with the other moms she has known for a long time.  I sometimes wish that I could spend all day at the daycare with my daughter.  I would love that!

Small smiles

It really is the little things that make me smile.  I've been trying to get my daughter to wear her little sunglasses for ages and she wouldn't do it.  Now, all of a sudden, she loves them and won't take them off!  If the sun is in her face when she's in her car seat, she very dramatically turns her head, shields her eyes and says, "Gases, Mommy, gases"  She wants her sunglasses.  So I've started stashing them in strategic locations so that we have them when she wants them...a pair in each car and one in the diaper bag.  The other day, I had a pair ready to go when she asked for them.  I figured it would be the usual wear them for two minutes, then pull them off and toss 'em across the backseat.  She surprised me by wearing them the whole ride, into daycare, and wouldn't let me take them off her once we were inside and I was getting ready to leave.  I later learned that she wore them all morning, right through lunch and only took them off because it was nap time!  My little movie star.  This goes on the list of things I want to remember as she gets older, so that I can remember how cute she was way back when.  It's right up there with how she takes my face in both her hands if she thinks I'm not paying close enough attention to her.  She gazes very seriously into my eyes and repeats whatever she just said, ranging from requests for treats to bossing me around.  "Choc??" "Sit down Mommy"  So sweet!

Is Work Life Balance a Myth?

Ever since the birth of my daughter almost 2 years ago, I am constantly trying to find work life balance.  Some days it's to the extent that if I had the money, I would hire a life coach, because I feel like I'm never going to figure it out.  Today I spotted this article about how companies prefer employees that have no life outside of work.  I am disappointed, but not surprised because this is my life right now.  My company has a great reputation for work life balance and being family friendly, but the day to day reality is dependent upon your direct manager.  I have had a number of different bosses over the last 5 years, and they have varied greatly in management style.  One of the few consistencies among them is that they all talk the talk when it comes to flexibility but do not walk the walk.  No one wants to set precedent.  I've sought job shares or part-time opportunities at my current employer, but what it boils down to is that if you are at the manager level or above, those opportunities don't really exist.  I've made realistic proposals based on solid business cases and have been shot down repeatedly.  The sad thing is that I loved my job and was very motivated to do it well.  The constant battles over flexibility that I've lost have created what I would think is the least desirable scenario for an employer.  I am completely frustrated and unmotivated now.  In the past I was willing to log in and complete work tasks outside of business hours.  I am never going to do that again.  When I leave work, I don't give it another thought until I return to the office in the morning.  If I am not respected and the work I produce is not valued, then there is no reason for me to go above and beyond.  The job share proposals I've done would save the company money and create better continuity of service while creating jobs in a terrible economy.  I'm failing to see the downside.  It's a win-win!

This was bound to become an issue.  The technology that we have access to was either going to create great opportunities for work life balance or it was going to become a leash that all but those without lives were going to be strangled by.  Blackberries, laptops and smart phones should create a workplace that doesn't require a physical office or cube.  I know there are a few very successful businesses that have changed their business model so that they now lease or own small offices that allow their employees a place to work or hold meetings on an as needed basis.  Unfortunately, most of the corporate world is too much of a dinosaur to be able to shift that way.  It's a shame because I think they could save a lot of money. Not to mention that it is a "green" way to do business.  Another thing corporate America seems to want to say they do without having to follow through.

I also think this is an example of a few ruining it for the rest of us.  I know more people who are in search of work life balance than have no lives outside work.  My friends who are married to the job aren't in love with their jobs though.  They want more in their personal lives.  Which tells me that neither situation is ideal...a common theme in my life is that all things in moderation, nothing to excess is more than just a maxim, it's a highly desirable way of life.  The happiest people I know are those who have truly flexible job situations without penalties behind the scenes.  I know there is something better out there for me, I just seem to be having trouble finding it on my own.  Someday I'll find it.

Confessions of an Amazon.com Addict

It's true.  I'm addicted.  I liked Amazon.com a lot before I became a mom, but now I am truly hooked.  It is the greatest thing ever to be able to buy things I need and have them delivered to my front porch two days later via Amazon Prime.  My three favorite things about Amazon.com:

1. Amazon Prime - two day shipping has to be the greatest thing ever. (This one has a fee, but is totally worth it) 
2. Amazon Mom - the more qualified purchases you make, the more free Amazon Prime you get. Search Amazon.com for amazon mom
3. Subscribe & Save - I am not the most organized person in the world, but being able to set this up on the items that my family uses all the time and need restocked in predictable intervals (like diapers, wipes, organic babyfood) Search Amazon.com for diapers plus saving extra on those items is fabulous.  I must admit that I did like it better when these items got Prime shipping, but being able to schedule them makes it easy to plan ahead for shipping time.

A note:  These programs all have specific terms and conditions that you must read on Amazon.com before you sign up.  I am merely telling you what I love, I'm not responsible for what happens if you don't read the details!

Recently having done the whole baby registry/shower thing, I wish I had skipped the big box baby store registry and just registered on Amazon.  A lot of the bigger baby items are a LOT cheaper on Amazon and you can put stuff on the registry from any website online.  So you can have one registry and save your family and friends some bucks in the process.

I could go on and on and on...am I the only one?  Sometimes I feel like I 'm the only one.  My friends and family tell me about these great deals they got on other sites or at warehouse stores, but they don't come close to what I've saved.  I try to tell them, but they either blow me off or aren't willing to buy these things online.  I find this puzzling.  I get great deals and the stuff shows up on my front porch like magic.  As a full time working mom, I love that!!

I'm always open to new ways to save and/or gain convenience.  Tell me what you do to save money or make your life easier - I'm always open to ideas that will save me time or money!

Remembering 9/11/01

In many ways, 10 years has gone by in the blink of an eye.  However, when I think about that day, it's as though I am reliving it.  I know that is true for many of us.  What I remember most is not being afraid of what might happen to me, though I knew that there was real danger to us all and a terrible fear of the unknown.  I was terrified for the loved ones I was unable to contact - my husband, FDNY & volunteer firefighters, EMTs, a pilot for United who flew out of Newark.  I don't live far from the city, and will never forget how our world changed that day.  I will always remember the response from the rest of the country in the days that followed.  Today I give thanks for my family and friends, I am blessed to have them.  I also give thanks for the heroes who saved so many lives.  My heart goes out to all who lost a loved one as a result of the attacks on 9/11.  I think of you often, and will never forget your sacrifice.  May you find peace.

Come on, Irene!

Hurricane Irene passed by almost a week ago, but she is still wreaking havoc on my daily routine!  I mentioned in an earlier post that we were very fortunate and did not experience any major damage or flooding at our home.  However, we do live near a large river that refuses to stay inside its banks in large thunderstorms, so we knew that the hurricane would be a problem in that respect.  Usually it just makes it hard to get to the next town for a few days, but this time we were personally impacted.  I got a call last Monday night that our daycare was flooded.  It never occurred to me that it might be, because although it is right by the river, it's elevated.  I work for a large company, and the daycare is an on-campus facility run by a national chain.  So the upside is that they were able to shift all staff and operations to another facility until repairs are completed.  The downside is the location of that facility.  It's one of those deals where it is less than 10 miles away, but in rush hour it takes an hour and a half or two hours to get there and back.  I am having a lot of trouble adjusting to that.

We are not morning people.  Not one of us.  So having to move up the morning routine an hour has been really fun.  Or not.  I will also never understand why it is that no matter what time I leave the house, something happens along the way, and I always get there at the same time.  Does time expand to fill the extra half hour I left myself to get there?  Why?  What is that about?  Did time know that I was on jury duty and so did not have ANY flexibility in my schedule last week?

On the upside, I was able to obtain work space closer to the alternate care location, so the commute should be cut in half.  It's still the wrong direction to travel in rush hour.  More happy news is that if our great state provides a passing grade on a site visit later this week, the facility may reopen next Monday.  Hooray!  Add this to the list of things I never thought I would get excited about!

Here's hoping this week goes more smoothly!

A Work In Progress

"Having a baby changes everything."  Yeah, no kidding.  Whoever came up with this slogan for Johnson & Johnson is a genius, as there are few statements in life more accurate.  He or she also has a talent for understatement.  My daughter is almost two and I'm still recovering!  I wish I could say that I have it all figured out, but that would be such a huge white lie.

Yep.  It's another mommy blog.  But why??  Mainly because I like to talk.  Okay, by talk, I really mean vent.  And I've been told that it's very entertaining.  So being a generous type, I figured I'd share with the class.  Who am I? Check out my profile in the sidebar, it'll give you my deets, as a teen-aged baby sitter recently phrased it.  In addition to being the proud parents of a mischievous little girl, we are the owners of a 60-something year old house that is always in need of TLC.  We are in the process of putting an addition on the house, a project we started in April 2007.  We had no kitchen for 2+ years.  Did I mention that I am a very patient person?  At least in my own mind, that is.  I'm also a glutton for punishment, because just as the end of the renovation came into view, I got pregnant.  With the birth of our daughter, we unwittingly extended the duration of this now never ending project.  See quote above.  Our focus completely shifted.  I don't anticipate it being done anytime soon.  I've made peace with it.  My husband hasn't.  Our toddler thinks the work in progress areas look like fun and tries to find ways to escape into the forbidden zone whenever possible.

I am a full time working mom.  If you are looking for one of those working moms who is super organized and has it all figured out, this is not the blog for you.  I am struggling to find that perfect work/life balance (more on that later).  I refuse to believe that it is mythical!  Babyhood goes by too fast to not enjoy every minute of it, so I definitely tend to skew more to the life side of the scale right now.  There are certainly days when I would love to be a full time stay at home mom, but financially that isn't going to happen anytime soon.  Plus, I do have a selfish bone in my body.  I love being able to go to the bathroom by myself and getting to eat lunch without having to get up sixteen times or having little fingers manhandle my food.  I like talking to adults who speak in full sentences.  Would a more flexible work arrangement, like part-time, be better?  Sure!!  But I haven't been able to find one that meets my needs.  I did find a great one in Singapore recently.  My husband doesn't think I would enjoy the commute from the East Coast.  (A side note - I know I mentioned in my profile that I have a part time job already.  It is VERY part time.  And the pay reflects that.)  I have to admit that he's probably right.  My current commute is 5 miles, 10 if it is my turn for daycare drop off or pick up.

My daughter does go to daycare, and she LOVES it.  She started at 4 1/2 months and early on developed a friendship with two other babies in her room.  I've heard all about parallel play and how that's all young children are capable of.  I'm not buying it, I've seen this trio in action.  They've been interacting for ages.  When the first learned to crawl, she would crawl over to one of the others, lay her head on her friend and they would both smile like crazy.  Fast forward to today, they are still together in toddlers:  there is the little mama of the group; the coy diva; and the laid back surfer dude.  They chase each other around, squabble over toys, and give each other hugs and kisses.  We are blessed with incredible caregivers who love my daughter like she is their own.  They are also far better equipped to tackle the mess fun learning projects that I couldn't (okay, still can't) face.  An example:  they started her finger painting at 5 months old!!  I was still struggling to get dinner on the table every other night (or so) at that point, let alone getting laundry and other chores done.  Re-reading this, it maybe sounds a little like I am trying to rationalize having my daughter in daycare.  I'm not.  I felt guilty at the beginning, no question.  But now I'm very secure in the knowledge that she is very well taken care of and loved while I am at work, and she is developing social skills that would be hard to come by as an only child in this day and age.  And did I mention that she loves it?

RCCKMYK4DWUJ

Earthquakes and Hurricanes, Oh My!

So last week was a crazy one here on the east coast.  I had very different plans for my first ever blog post, but since Mother Nature threw us a curve ball, here I am.  I have always had interesting timing, why should blogging be any different?  But stay tuned, I'll do the intro post later this week, when things calm down again.  Ha!  That's wishful thinking, given the daily chaos that is my household - I'm not sure it's ever really calm.  It's certainly never dull!

I felt my first earthquake last Tuesday.  This is not a first I was all that anxious to ever experience, but it was a mini-adventure.  For the record, mini-adventure is the best case scenario for any earthquake.  I am not a fan of any type of extreme weather.  I was called for jury duty, so I was spending the day at my county's courthouse. Insert joke about potentially apocalyptic weather and the U.S. legal system here. I was waiting to cross the street leading to the courthouse when I felt the ground shake.  The first thought that ran through my head was that it was like a subway train had just passed under my feet.  Except the city I was in doesn't have a subway!  I walked away with a touch of vertigo.  Yuck.  I hate that feeling.  My husband was a few miles away and didn't feel a thing.  It hit at nap time, my daughter slept right through it.  Thank goodness.

It was an interesting to me that clearly no two people had the same experience.  Asking two people who were in the same building if they felt it, one said, "Felt what?" and the other replied that she absolutely felt it, it set her rocking chair in motion and rattled the picture frames on her walls.  This scenario repeated several times over a couple days almost verbatim, which gave me a weird deja vu.

The earthquake was big news for about  two days, then Hurricane Irene eclipsed it completely.  That's a sentence I never expected to utter.  And I am starting to wonder what Mother Nature is trying to tell us.  She is clearly not a happy camper!  It took us a full two days to get ready for the storm.  Including deciding whether or not to take the satellite dish down from the roof (not), to buy or not to buy LED lanterns (not), whether or not to brave the supermarket for odds and ends for dinners (yes), and what to do with all of the plants in pots around our property (garage).  I'm glad we didn't spend any money on lanterns that would have gone, unused, to live in our shed after the storm.  Never to be seen again.  My husband hit the supermarket Friday morning before the run on milk and bread started.

Strange as this may sound, I did enjoy being outside working while the storm approached. Also, we are perennially bad at the end of season yard clean up (yup, we're that house on the block), so now we are a step ahead for fall.  If I can resist the temptation to get it all back out again...shh, don't tell my husband!

We were very fortunate and didn't sustain any serious damage of any kind.  We had family members under mandatory evacuation, some of them came to stay at our house.  It was very stressful not knowing when or if they would be able to go home, but thankfully their homes were all still standing after Irene screamed on by.  They left as soon as the roads home reopened on Sunday.  It was then that I realized I was wrong about the calm...it was so peaceful to have our home to ourselves again!