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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Halloween Festivities and Nostalgia

I have a feeling that by this time next week, I will be all Halloweened out.  I love Halloween and all it's accompaniments, so we cover a lot of ground this time of year.  Going pumpkin picking, carving or painting pumpkins, decorating our porch and living room, finding a costume for my DD, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", trick or treating, Halloween parades and fall festivals at school, and, of course, eating chocolate.  Halloween falling on a Monday seems to have drawn the celebration out some, as the festivities at DD's daycare are starting on Thursday with special Halloween treats for the kids during the day.  For some reason, they decided to have the Halloween parade and party on Friday instead of Monday, so I am just now realizing that we will be dressing up Friday, Saturday and Monday.  Whew.  Saturday is a costume/birthday party and a Philadelphia Flyers game.  Sunday will be for Mommy to recover from running and driving all over creation, and then Monday is trick or treating.  Since DD is only 2, this consists of hitting a couple of friends' houses in the neighborhood and a nice brisk walk with the stroller.  I hope. 

I love Halloween and used to love getting dressed up.  Some of this is nostalgia for my childhood; I trick or treated until I was 18.  This may sound strange to some, but it was the standard in the town I grew up in.  There were as many teenagers roaming the streets in costume as there were little ones.  And the vast majority were legitimate trick or treaters, not annoying teenagers terrorizing small children.  Almost no one was too cool to get dressed up and go out.  We would develop a strategy for hitting the largest number of houses possible in the time before the 8 pm curfew. My mom kept ballpark counts of the number of trick or treaters who came to our house, and 100 or more was pretty standard.  My mom often says that one of the things she liked about our small town was that it seemed that kids were able to be kids longer there, and Halloween is a good example of what she meant. 

I also had the advantage of having parents who were willing to invest time and resources into creating homemade costumes.  My brother and I had some really great costumes over the years.  My mom sewed and my dad was willing to figure out ways to manipulate things like corrugated cardboard into various shapes and providing painting assistance when needed.  My mom sewed a beautiful Snow White costume for me before the days of Disney mass production.  I had witch, princess, bride, flapper costumes, all homemade.  I am excited for the day in the near future when I can go through the costume box my mom kept and hopefully DD will want to wear some of them. Some of our more complicated costumes involved more than a sewing machine to manufacture.  A (cardboard) book, lady on a pedestal (the pedestal did not fare well during trick or treating), St George on his horse, Pixie sitting on a toadstool (toadstool didn't survive), jellyfish...I know there are more, but these are the ones coming to mind right now.   My husband is not a fan of Halloween, and I think his parents' disinterest is part of the reason for this.  They basically left him to his own devices in finding costumes from a young age and didn't provide the creative support that both of my parents did.

I'm determined that Halloween will be fun for DD, but I have some obstacles to overcome.  I don't know how to work a sewing machine.  It's never too late to learn, but I also don't have much in the way of free time to develop these skills.  I will figure this one out as I go along, not going to worry about it at this point.  Thus far I have been able to get high quality costumes for her either for free (hand-me-downs) or at very reasonable prices.  Next obstacle is the neighborhood we live in.  I love where we live most of the time, but we are in a most undesirable trick or treating neighborhood!  We get less than 5 kids per year knocking on our door on Halloween.  Our street is a dead end with no sidewalks, long driveways and no good shortcuts from house to house because of hills and retaining walls.  I think my best way around this one as she gets more into the years for trick or treating is going to be to develop a new tradition of trick or treating with friends who live across town.

As we creep closer to Halloween, I'm looking forward to dressing my little witch!!  We are a dog family, but for one day, I will be a black cat for DD - but shh, don't tell our German Shepherd.

October 31, 2011:  My prediction in this post came true...today is actually Halloween and I am exhausted!  Of course, I failed to predict the snowstorm that deposited 5 inches of snow here on Saturday.  I've never seen a white Halloween before!  I'm just hoping it's warm enough to hit the houses of some good friends before heading home tonight.  Wish me luck!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Mother of the Year and Best Wife Ever Moments

Today feels like a Monday.  I have had several mother of the year moments already today, and it's not even noon yet.  The baby and I went to my parents house for two days to visit with my aunt and uncle in from out west.  We had a lot of fun but it was definitely like being on vacation.  My brain checked out.  It has yet to check back in.  Today is our wedding anniversary, and I did buy my husband a card.  I can't find it, but I definitely bought one.  On Friday.  So it's not like I've had a long time to misplace it.  I know I stashed it somewhere so that he wouldn't see it.  But I can't remember where! In the spirit of full disclosure, I will say that I could hide my own Easter eggs...I hide things "in a safe place", never to be seen again.  So safe, I can't even find them.  Over time, I've developed a couple good spots and consistently use them, that way I know where to check when I can't find stashed items.  Sadly, when I'm in a hurry, sometimes I veer off course on this practice.  That seems to be what I did with the anniversary card.  Maybe I'll find it in time to give it to him next year.  Sigh.  Now I have to find a few minutes to sneak out and grab another card before I go home. 

My lucky streak continued when I arrived at daycare to drop my daughter off.  It's picture day.  I knew two weeks ago that today was picture day.  But I completely spaced.  Fortunately, I didn't dress her in the well worn hand me down play clothes that I had originally planned for today.  I noticed that the sleeves were a little short, so I ditched those clothes and grabbed the next closest outfit, which was actually a new outfit.  Thank goodness!  Her hair is getting long, and needs a trim.  It looks really cute in pigtails, which she has let me put in exactly one time.  It is superfine, so without pigtails or barrettes (which she loves to play with but refuses to wear), it gets messy looking very quickly.  Of course she had untameable bedhead this morning that will require a bath to correct, which we did not have time for this morning.  Walked into the classroom, saw all the other kids dressed nice and with super cute clothes and hair styles.  Had to confess that I completely forgot.  Ugh.  The teachers were very kind about it, but were definitely looking at me funny.  Oh well.  One thing is for sure, this won't be the last time this happens.  I have frequent mother of the year moments.  Hopefully my brain will start to function again before the end of the day.  If not, I'm in trouble, this is going to be a fun week!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Welcome to Backwardville: Adventures with Solar Panels and Bureaucracy

I live in a backwards town.  If I had known 11 years ago what I know today, I would live somewhere else.  No question.  I'm not even going to get into what I pay in taxes and how few services we receive. Unfortunately, I love our house and our property.  It's finally getting to where we've been trying to get it.  We started putting an addition on in 2007 - blew out half of the back and tore the roof off.  This gave us space for an expanded kitchen, a laundry room/back hallway, and a master suite upstairs.  It was quite a process, we ended up with a bonus room we hadn't planned on, which was good.  There were many bad things that happened along the way too.  We had to deal with an incompetent architect and town inspectors who were not the brightest in addition to the normal bumps in the road that come with a construction project of this magnitude.  We had no kitchen for 3 years.  Yup, you read that right.  3 years.  I need to get around to writing a full post about the whole addition experience.  For now, suffice it to say, I love my new kitchen, bedroom, closet and bathroom and am not moving anytime soon.  Or ever. 

Days like today make me rethink that.  When we did the addition we also put solar panels on our roof.  They are great.  We are doing the right thing for the environment and get the added bonus of great savings on our electric bill.  The way they are installed, most people don't even notice them, they blend right into the roof.  They have worked out so well that we decided to go a step further and investigated solar hot water systems.  We found one that will be great for us and we decided to move forward with it.  It will really help us in the summer especially, as we don't have a traditional hot water heater.  Our water is heated through our furnace, thus in summer, our boiler can't be shut off and cycles on periodically throughout the day to maintain the supply of hot water.  The new system would produce enough hot water to enable us to shut off the boiler during the summer and reducing the amount of oil we burn. 

All good things, right?  One would think that local government would want to encourage homeowners to be green and to improve their properties.  In my town, one would be wrong.  Our permit application came back three weeks after submission, marked with a denial.  The denial simply states, "Solar panels cannot extend more than 8 inches beyond rooftop. Variance required"  Being an attorney, I want more.  Give me an ordinance citation at least.  I also have anecdotal evidence in addition to my own experience that there is almost nothing that you can do in this town that does not require a variance.  My view on this is that the town is trying to get more money out of its homeowners.  In addition, this town requires permits for projects that most other towns do not.  Really, a zoning permit for residential solar panels in a residential neighborhood? We didn't need a zoning permit for the first solar installation.  Ridiculous.  So my husband ventures down to the zoning office to acquire more information on the specific ordinance and what options are open to us from here.  The information he walks away with is astounding.  I was glad I was sitting down when he called me to share it. Drum roll, please.  The ordinance that caused our permit to be denied is not even in effect yet.  It's proposed, but hasn't been adopted.  The mayor is really pushing it though, because apparently my town has an issue with unsightly solar panel installations.  Seriously!?! 

I've never even heard of a situation where someone tried to enforce a statute or ordinance before it was in effect.  I wasn't aware that enforcing laws that don't exist was possible.  We also learned that the town's attorney specifically reviewed our application.  My question upon hearing this tidbit is this:  Is he stupid or is he trying to pull a fast one, figuring that a naive homeowner won't question the denial and will just pony up the extra $$ to apply for a variance and put out the effort that such an application requires?  I'm not sure, but I suspect the latter.  It may be because I am emotionally invested here, but I feel like my town is out to squeeze every dollar they can out of me while providing the lowest return on investment possible. 

Unfortunately for the town, we are not naive homeowners.  We've gone a few rounds with the town in the past, we have brains and mouths and aren't afraid to use either in situations like this one.  My husband began asking more questions about our options after the denial.  Both options (appeal or application for variance) require a significant investment of both time and money.  Weighing these and determining that the variance will likely be less onerous in the short term, he asked what the wording on the required notice will be, since the town provides it and it has to include the variance citation.  Unable to answer his questions, they indicated they would investigate and get back to him.  Happily, when the clerk called him back, she let him know that the decision had been made to rescind the denial of our application.  Sadly, now they have to send it to the building department and they have 3 weeks to act on it.  Sigh.  We won this battle, but I have a feeling the war is not yet over.  Fingers crossed that the application gets approved without further obstacles.   

Oh, yeah, and way to be green, Mr. Mayor.  I'm glad you're looking out for what is really important long term for the residents of our town.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Sweet Toddler of Mine

I love the developmental and emotional stage my daughter is currently in.  I will preface this with a disclaimer:  Yes, I think my kid is really cute and I know I am biased.  I am her mother after all.  In the interests of full disclosure, I do not think everything she does is cute.  I know that she is not perfect.  She does things I do NOT like and that I am trying like crazy to nip in the bud so that they don't become habit.  This post is not about those things, but rest assured, they exist.  I'm sure I will be posting about them later.  That said, this post is about cute and sweet things she does that I love and that I know I will miss when she is a teenager.  If that is not your cup of tea, I suggest you stop reading now.  Disclaimer over.  On to the fun!

She is super cute with the fractured sentences she has started to put together.  Though many of them are focused on bossing me around, I can't help but smile.  This sometimes makes it hard to discipline her because I can't keep a straight face.  She is getting more verbal by the day and she has a mostly sunny disposition.  The terrible twos have not yet hit with full force.  She has tantrums, don't get me wrong. And boy is she stubborn. (I am sticking by my story that she gets that from her father.  100%.  My mother tells me it won't hold up in court.  Hmm.)  But her tantrums are more like a passing summer shower than a massive hurricane.

She will sit still long enough for me to read at least a couple pages of her books to her.  I was a little worried early on because everyone says to read to your baby from day one.  Which worked until my baby girl became mobile.  Reading to her required chasing her around the house and/or trying to read two words before she flipped through 5 pages in 1.5 seconds.  Now she will sit and participate, pointing to characters or objects she knows, identifying colors, and otherwise enjoying the story.  She still flips multiple pages and gets impatient if the story is too long, but on the whole, reading with her is a lot of fun.

Monkeys are her favorite.  "Monkeeee!"  She loves the 5 Little Monkeys song and will shake her finger and sing along, "No more monkey jump bed!" when we come to the line, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"  If we happen to be in bed at the time, she will also jump on the bed, sit down, and pat her head while saying, "bump".  Smart girl!

 She sat still for pigtails for the first time yesterday...and actually left them in!  Woo hoo, progress!  This is good, because she won't keep barrettes in.  I was beginning to think about keeping her hair cut short until she's old enough to take care of it herself.

She will take her little people and put them in their beds or arrange them around a table.  She likes to pour tea for Mommy and Daddy and herself and "drink" it.  By the way, love this little tea set, one of the cutest toys ever!  She will talk to her little people, which is also really cute.  She sounds just like Boo from Monsters, Inc.  Love that!

She runs everywhere.  She climbs the steps very well.  Despite her mother having a heart attack from time to time watching her do so.  She loves to play with sidewalk chalk and blow bubbles.  She will finally wear the swimming bubble that lets her be as independent as she would like to be in the pool.  (Of course, just in time for cold weather.  Guess we'll be joining our local YMCA this winter.) She seems to think that she can swim already.  This one is cute and stressful at the same time.

If she thinks I am not paying close enough attention to her, she will very gently put her palms on my cheeks and turn my head, looking earnestly into my eyes while trying to get me to understand what she wants.  This is one of the things I know I will miss when she truly becomes a big kid.  It's right up there with how she holds my hand as we walk along and putting her arms around my neck and her head on my shoulder when I carry her.  She's getting too heavy for me, but I know I will carry her like that as long as I can because the day will soon arrive when she doesn't want that anymore.

She is in that stage where she refers to herself in the third person.  She has been able to say her own name for quite a while now, and says it clearly and with glee.  There is a happy exclamation point at the end of it, I can almost see it when she says it.  We found naming her to be a challenge, we wanted to make sure we got it right since it will be with her forever.  Hearing her proclaim it so clearly and with such verve, it is another affirmation that we got it right.  I can't imagine her with any other name now.

Of all the things my sweet girl is doing now, my favorite is this:  when I arrive to pick her up or come home from being out and about without her, her little face lights up with a big smile, she says, "Mommmeeee" and comes running for a big hug.  It doesn't get any better than that!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

It's Fire Prevention Week!

Like most kids, my daughter loves fire trucks.  Her daddy is a volunteer firefighter, so she gets to see them often.  She sees a fire truck go by and declares, "Daddy.  Truck.  House." Translation:  I see a fire truck, I know my daddy rides in fire trucks, and that fire trucks are kept in a firehouse.  Sirens get her attention in a positive way, not a negative one - she never cries, she looks to see where it is and where it is going.  She has multiple toy fire trucks and firefighters and fire hats at home.  All of these things are why I was surprised this week by her reaction to fire prevention week activities. She goes to daycare in an adjoining city, and so their local fire department brought a truck over for the annual fire prevention week visit.  She saw the firefighter in full turnout gear, turned around, and ran to her teacher for comfort!  She did really enjoy getting to climb into the engine and check it out.  I'm still trying to figure out what went through her little head! The only thing I can come up with is that maybe she realized that the guy in the gear wasn't her daddy, and that spooked her?  I don't know.

For the adults out there, a public service announcement.  Make sure your home has operational smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors and fire extinguishers, and that you know how to work all of them!!  Also, the upcoming daylight savings time changeover is a great time to change the batteries in your smoke detector!  Many fire companies have open houses this weekend that invite the community in to see who they are and what they do and have activities and giveaways for the whole family.  I highly recommend checking out your local company.  

Thank you to all firefighters who dedicate time and effort to protecting the lives and property of others!!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Nap Time Outings

I love nap time.  I think most moms will agree with me that it is a perfect example of a win-win situation.  It can play out a number of different ways:  I nap with her (one of my favorite things to do on a weekend afternoon); I get things done around the house (prep work, cooking, folding laundry, yardwork, the to-do list never ends); or I get some true "me" time to do whatever I choose.  As an aside (you may have noticed I have never met a tangent I didn't like!) - household chores, grocery shopping, hiding for 5 minutes in the bathroom, bedroom, closet or garage do not count as me time.  Though from time to time they are all necessary to maintain Momma's sanity! 

My challenge with nap time comes up when we have plans to go somewhere that conflicts in some way with nap time.  It used to be easier, if the outing involved a car ride of at least 30 - 45 minutes, then my daughter would fall asleep in the car and get at least a power nap that would hold her until bedtime.  Unfortunately, a couple weeks ago she started to stay awake for the entire car ride.  Once we get where we are going, it's usually way too interesting for her to go to sleep.  We are there for a few hours and then head home.  At this point I am usually trying to keep her awake because it's after 5 pm and sleep now will delay dinner and push bedtime back until at least midnight.  Without fail, she falls deeply asleep. 

She is definitely not ready to give up her daily nap - nor am I!  But I feel like I am missing something here.  If we plan around nap time, we end up never leaving the house.  Fall is a really busy time for us, we have plans of some kind almost every weekend.  Birthday parties, shopping outings, play dates, the list goes on and on.  Most of these involve being outside, and she and I both love being outside and that will be a lot harder during the winter months.  This also makes me reluctant to hang out at home just for nap time. 

Am I the only one who is trying to figure this out?  I will also throw out there that we have always been an on the go family, we took our daughter out to a restaurant at 4 days old.  It usually works for us.  It'll work for us again, once I figure out how to make it work with this phase.  I'd really love to hear from you how you deal with this nap quandary - any ideas?

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Making New Friends

I must admit that I get a little worried sometimes that my daughter is going to wildly misbehave when she meets a new little friend.  Am I the only one?  It's not based in reality, as I know that there are going to be times when she just does not get along with another kid.  There will be personality conflicts, there will be tantrums for any reason or no reason.  All part of life and growing up.  But I can't help noticing that my parenting is being judged on her behavior.  Again, I dismiss it pretty much immediately, because it doesn't matter what other people think - pretty much every parenting decision I've ever made makes me a bad parent in someone's eyes.  But it flits through my mind.  I'm never going to let it get in the way of my daughter meeting new kids, that would be wrong.  Especially because she is such a social little girl.  She loves other kids, especially those who are smaller than she is.  "Bay-beee!!" 

In reality, we get a lot of compliments on our daughter's behavior.  Which makes me feel a little funny too.  I've always had to work at taking compliments graciously, especially if I don't feel like I did anything to earn them. We spent Saturday with a couple of dear friends and the one year old niece of one of those friends.  The one year old is a sweet baby, very mobile and with her own mischievous twinkle.  She has the sweetest dimpled smile!  The two had a great time together - my daughter noticed how much the baby liked french fries and started feeding her my fries at dinner.  My daughter also made quite an impression on the adults that she met for the first time that evening, and we've been invited to come back.  Such a nice feeling!!

On Sunday, we started doing the legwork on yet another possible home improvement project.  We are looking for a wood stove insert for our fireplace.  (Hooray!  The beauty of a wood fire without sucking all the heat out of the house and up the chimney!)  My daughter does pretty well out and about in stores, but there are so many variables that go into it.  Has she had her nap?  Is she hungry?  How restrictive do I have to be with wandering?  How kid-friendly is the store/staff?  I was actually surprised at how well this went, because I thought I would have to have her on lock down in a woodstove/fireplace showroom.  Fortunately, there was only one unit that was lit in the area that we were in, and it was easy to keep her clear of it.  They also had toys in store (though we had brought a few of our own just in case).  Several members of the staff commented on how happy and patient she was.  She was very good, though I hate that phrase, because I feel like it's used in inappropriate contexts, i.e. that people expect young children to be "good" even when their main form of communication is crying and body language. But I digress.

She had a great weekend, several fun outings despite rainy weather.  I love fall, but at the same time am sad that summer is over.  I am already getting nostalgic for warm days spent entirely outside!