I'm definitely on the wrong end of this one this week. It's amazing how this seems to happen both at work and at home simultaneously, despite the fact that they are two very distinct worlds for me. About a year ago, I attended a panel discussion on work/life balance for women in my company. It was mostly women talking about how great our company is for this, how wonderful they have it, blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, it all hinges on who your direct supervisor is and how willing they are to be flexible and allow work/life balance to happen. So while it was interesting, it was also very disheartening, because I am not permitted to use any of the great programs that these women love. One of the women who spoke presented a great visual that is still in my head, and I am actually visualizing it right now.
If I think about all the things I am responsible for, I can divide them up into balls. Keeping certain balls up in the air is more important than others, so I picture them as being made of different materials. For example, the only ball made of crystal is my family...it's the one that I view as most important to prevent from permanent damage and would be the hardest to repair. Therefore, it is the one that I absolutely cannot drop. Others are less important and so I imagine them as more resilient materials. If I screw them up somewhat, not the end of the world.
This week it is all I can do to keep that crystal ball up in the air.
The past few weeks, I have been feeling great: getting my house cleaner, getting a healthy, homemade dinner on the table at a reasonable time more often than not, having fun with my husband and daughter, running more, being more productive at work. This week I am just tired and I am NOT motivated. I had a conversation with my boss that made it clear that he does not see the value I am bringing, and I get so frustrated by that. I have had twelve bosses in four years, so basically by the time I get one on board and educated in what I do, they have moved on and I have to start all over again. Not ideal. My current boss is inflexible and has a tendency to micromanage. Also not ideal.
When I get home, I am tired. We have eaten pizza more times in the past week than I care to admit. Happily, most of my routines are keeping me afloat at home, so while I haven't progressed onto the clean outs that are long overdue, at least I haven't lost ground. I am still able to easily keep up with the laundry, and I am still making sure that the kitchen sink is empty before I go to bed.
Writing this out has actually helped me today...though I am still dragging, I am more optimistic than when I started this post. I haven't charged forward like I had hoped to, but that crystal ball is still steadily up in the air and the house hasn't backslid into utter chaos. I will just keep plugging along and I will get myself moving forward again.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Super Mom? Yes, Ma'am
About two years ago, my daughter A was born. After being home for a couple of days, I had the panicked thought, "I'm never going to have time to cook a meal again! There is never enough time to do the prep work and then actually cook - she needs to eat so often, and wants to be held at the most inconvenient times!" Then I took a deep breath and banished the thought from my mind - that was why I stocked my freezer ahead of time, right? Yep. So I just kept plugging along and doing the best that I could. Lo and behold, around the time she turned two I realized that I was really starting to feel like myself again. I no longer felt like I needed to sleep every time I got 5 minutes to sit down. I had energy again! Until then, I don't think I understood that I hadn't fully recovered from her coming into our lives. Yes, my body was recovered in the sense that stitches were healed, but not from the getting less than two hours of sleep at a time and trying to keep everything from crashing down around me while providing A with everything that she needed. The mental and emotional stress was overwhelming. I have many balls in the air, stressful full time job, getting A to and from daycare, quality time with my husband, managing around his crazy schedule and solo parenting during his work week, getting decent meals on the table, visiting family on a regular basis who live 1-2 hours away, caring for our elderly and immune compromised dog, part-time job, house still under renovation...and on and on.
I always told myself that I'm not super mom and that I would never try to be. But that is exactly what I was unconsciously doing. And something had to give. I was sacrificing my well being to keep all those balls in the air. I was staying up way too late to get things done, I wasn't exercising, I was frustrated at work and my house looked like a bomb hit it. The only thing I was really getting right was loving my family and enjoying my time with A.
I have gradually been putting little routines in place that have helped me tremendously. Something as simple as picking out my clothes the night before and putting everything I need to take with me the next day in one spot, ready to go, saves me anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour in the morning. (I am sooo not a morning person.) I've been doing that for a couple of years now. Other than that, though, I have mentally resisted the truism that daily routines really do make life easier. Intellectually, I knew it was true, but I always had an excuse ready for why it wouldn't work for me.
The next thing I worked on was having at least a rough plan for meals for the coming week. This is usually based around what I have in the fridge that will go bad if it isn't used promptly. I try to cook and freeze or refrigerate at least three meals for the coming week on Sunday, and I use my crock pot frequently. (It's so addictive!) I found a couple of tools that really make meal planning, prep and execution so much easier - since my goal is not just to get any old thing on the table, but to make an effort to have it be healthy and taste good. I don't remember how I got by without the Six O'Clock Scramble (requires a subscription) or Stephanie O'Dea's Year of Slow Cooking blog. These ladies know what they are doing!
Without realizing it, my routines have turned me into a super mom! Not in the sense that I originally thought, where mom is stressed out trying to do it all. More in the way that if I stick to a few simple routines, I gain a cleaner house, am less stressed and we are all happier and more relaxed. I actually had the time and energy to bake cookies with A on Monday night! A work night! This was previously unheard of in our house!
I'm on a roll, so more posts on routines will be coming in the next week. I can't believe I resisted this for so long! Next up is laundry!
I always told myself that I'm not super mom and that I would never try to be. But that is exactly what I was unconsciously doing. And something had to give. I was sacrificing my well being to keep all those balls in the air. I was staying up way too late to get things done, I wasn't exercising, I was frustrated at work and my house looked like a bomb hit it. The only thing I was really getting right was loving my family and enjoying my time with A.
I have gradually been putting little routines in place that have helped me tremendously. Something as simple as picking out my clothes the night before and putting everything I need to take with me the next day in one spot, ready to go, saves me anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour in the morning. (I am sooo not a morning person.) I've been doing that for a couple of years now. Other than that, though, I have mentally resisted the truism that daily routines really do make life easier. Intellectually, I knew it was true, but I always had an excuse ready for why it wouldn't work for me.
The next thing I worked on was having at least a rough plan for meals for the coming week. This is usually based around what I have in the fridge that will go bad if it isn't used promptly. I try to cook and freeze or refrigerate at least three meals for the coming week on Sunday, and I use my crock pot frequently. (It's so addictive!) I found a couple of tools that really make meal planning, prep and execution so much easier - since my goal is not just to get any old thing on the table, but to make an effort to have it be healthy and taste good. I don't remember how I got by without the Six O'Clock Scramble (requires a subscription) or Stephanie O'Dea's Year of Slow Cooking blog. These ladies know what they are doing!
Without realizing it, my routines have turned me into a super mom! Not in the sense that I originally thought, where mom is stressed out trying to do it all. More in the way that if I stick to a few simple routines, I gain a cleaner house, am less stressed and we are all happier and more relaxed. I actually had the time and energy to bake cookies with A on Monday night! A work night! This was previously unheard of in our house!
I'm on a roll, so more posts on routines will be coming in the next week. I can't believe I resisted this for so long! Next up is laundry!
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