Better Living Through...Running?

I can't believe I am about to say this, but...I love running.  This is a complete turnaround for me.  Running does not come naturally to me at all, despite what I am about to write.  My goal is to go to the gym to run on the treadmill twice a week, and I feel fantastic after I run.  I blogged about week one of the coolrunning.com Couch to 5k training plan a few weeks ago, so you may already know how well that went.  I decided to skip to week two after that workout, and that seemed too easy, so the next time I ran, I did week 3.  In the interest of full disclosure, I must share that I have started this plan about half a dozen times over the past two years, only to end up quitting.  I have never made it all the way through to week nine.

I only managed to run one time that week, which I find really frustrating.  At this stage of the plan, you are supposed to run each routine three times, then move on to the next one.  (I usually hit the wall at week one.)Week three didn't feel like enough of a challenge either, so I moved on to week 4 yesterday.  This workout has what I consider to be longer runs - three minutes and five minutes.

I know that these aren't really longer runs, but for me, they are.  I have been relatively sedentary for the last two years...well, other than carrying and chasing around a small whirling dervish.  I am astounded that after I finished, I felt fantastic.  I understand why running is addictive.  That feeling is amazing.  And instead of dragging myself home exhausted, I went home energized.  I got more chores done at home in one evening than I have in weeks!    

I am wondering why this time is so different.  I am attributing it to a number of factors.  I am healthier than I have been in a long time.  I have been on my new allergy treatments for over a year and recently started taking Singulair.  I also honestly believe that it took me a full two years to recover from being pregnant and giving birth.  That seems like a long time, but I stressed myself out when I returned to work full time.  I didn't think to ask for a part-time schedule so that I could ease back in  I was dealing with daycare for the first time and had a baby who would not take a bottle.  I was trying to do too much, and it took a physical toll.  I gave up and waited until I felt that drive to get myself moving.  Then about a month after that, I finally got myself moving. 

Now I feel like I have to be careful not to push myself too hard too soon.  I don't want to crash and burn, I want to build slowly.  And I will admit that I am afraid of the later workouts in Couch to 5k.  I peeked ahead yesterday, and saw that I am approaching longer and longer running intervals.  My mind is likely to hold me back more than my body would, but I am willing to acknowledge that I need to get both my mind and body in shape. 

A note on some new stuff I have road (okay, treadmill) tested since my last post about running:  I really liked the Moving Comfort Vixen C/D bra, though it was a little tough to pull it off over my head when I was all sweaty.  I was really surprised to find that I loved the Moving Comfort Grace C/D bra.  It zips in the front.  I highly recommend it, and also wish that I had owned this sports bra when I was nursing.  I also bought myself a pair of running capris from Athleta.  I love them!  They have breathable material on the backs of the knees that kept me so much cooler than I am used to.  They also come in petite sizes, which is what I wear.  I am always a little wary of trying new petites because I never know if they will fit me right or not.  These are perfect, they hit all the right spots.

All in all, I am really enjoying my runs.  I know they are having a beneficial effect on my home life, my body and my mind.  I just have to make sure I keep going.  I will hit a wall at some point, but I will have the mental strength to push through it and keep going.  I am determined. 

I love you, Mommy

I heard these magic words for the first time yesterday morning.  As I got ready to leave for work, I gave my two year old a hug and kiss and said good-bye.  She looked me in the eye and said, "Mommy go work.  Mommy coming back.  I love you, Mommy."  Then she smiled at me.  It's one of those sweet mommy moments that I will always treasure.  It came out of nowhere!  She usually refers to herself in the third person and is just starting to attempt to use pronouns.  She is also super independent and generally somewhat resistant to affection and good-byes unless she is the instigator.  I have been told to sneak out of the house so she wouldn't get upset when I leave, but I have always felt that it was important to say good-bye to her and teach her that even though I leave to go to work, I love her and I will come back and get her at the end of the day.  And to her daddy's delight, she went over to him right after, patted his face and said, "I love you, Daddy."  She was quite pleased with herself and with the responses that she got from us.  She's a rough and tumble girl, which somehow seems to make moments like these that much sweeter. 

I'm so thrilled! 

Running on, and on, and...

I have been remiss in my blogging in 2012 thus far.  I need to work on that.  There are plenty of excuses...work has been really busy, we've been traveling or out of the house more than usual, I've started spending more time searching for my next job opportunity, I started running again, I'm so tired at the end of the day that the last thing I want to do is look at the computer some more...or think!  But these are all excuses, and in reality all of these things provide me with more to write about, I just need to focus and get it done. So here goes. 

I did start running again.  I was nervous, because I haven't really run in over two years...before my daughter was born.  Which is not to say that I haven't been getting exercise, because picking her up, carrying her, putting her back down, making her "fly" - all of these things are strength training.  And I do them so many times a day that I sometimes go to bed with arms that feel like jello.  I remember reading a few years ago that chasing around a toddler is not really exercise.  I don't remember exactly where I saw it, but it was all over the media.  I could very easily get sidetracked here by why a study like this constitutes news, or why someone felt that this was worth the money to study when there are real issues in the world that need research, but I'm going to stay on track. 

I think this study is hogwash.  I will happily volunteer to be a study participant for someone who wants to take another look at this.  I will grant you that all children and parents are different, but I am 5'1", not in the best shape but never completely sedentary either, and my kid is REALLY active.  She exhausts me.  I'm not complaining.  I'm just saying that she is a workout all by her little self.  I ran this past my personal trainer, and she agrees that my little one is giving me a thorough strength training session. 

Alright, despite my best efforts, I always seem to get sidetracked.  This post is supposed to be about running.  Let's try this again.  I started running again, I've covered maybe five miles a week the past two weeks.  I'm always afraid I'm going to overdo it and end up quitting, and now if I overdo it I will pay the price whilst chasing my daughter around.  So I am taking it slow.  Possibly too slow.  I was very surprised by how good I felt that first day back.  I did week one of the coolrunning.com Couch to 5k plan, and didn't want to stop when I came to the end of it, so I did it again.  I wanted to do it a third time, but being cautious, didn't want to push my luck, since I was still feeling pretty good, though very sweaty.  I was very concerned that I would be in pain the next day, but I wasn't.  I still felt good!  That never happens to me!  Usually I am aching like crazy and wondering what possessed me to go to the gym.

I was hoping that feeling would continue for a while, but alas, on my third run several days later, I was dragging.  I skipped to week three of the plan, which was the right choice because weeks one and two weren't challenging me.  My knees were aching, so I finally went and bought new sneakers (love my Asics), which I had been meaning to do for ages because my old ones were over two years old and I have been wearing them all over creation.  I know, I know, I'm not supposed to do that! 

Since I've stuck with it for more than two weeks, I also rewarded myself with a new sports bra, which I am way too excited about.  I've been reading Run Like a Mother, which I highly recommend, and decided to splurge on a Moving Comfort bra.  Instead of guessing at my size (like I usually do), I found the directions online for measuring oneself for a sports bra and acquired a tape measure.  I plugged my measurements into a sports bra size calculator and almost fell off my chair.  34DD??? I also planned on having a woman at my local running store measure me and help me to find the right bra for me, but my luck isn't that good.  There were no women working the evening shift on Friday night, so I was on my own.  I took a bunch of them into the dressing room and tackled the task at hand.  Fortunately my daughter found it very entertaining to be in a tiny room with me while I jumped up and down and ran in place to test drive each bra.  I ended up discovering that the 34DD is not the right size, but surprisingly the 34D was.  Since sports bras are expensive, I had researched them ahead of time.  I didn't want to buy a dud at $30 a pop.  I'm glad I went and tried them on in person, because the one I was drawn to online, I hated in the dressing room.  The store I went to was having a sale on Moving Comfort, so happily it was like 20% off.  I chose the Vixen C/D and the Juno, but they only had the Juno in black in my size and I wanted it in white or a color.  So I hit my old stand-by, Amazon.com.  They have these bras!  And they are on sale there too.  I'm so happy.  So I found my Juno 34D in "surf" (blue), and it'll be here in two days! 

I'm going to put my new sneakers and bra to the test this afternoon in the gym at work.  I like to run outside, but this time of year it's a lot more practical for me to run inside on the treadmill while at work.  I'm not hardcore enough to run in the cold or in the rain, and because of my allergies, the cold air can be really painful for me.  Not an excuse, just an explanation.  My short term goal is to get myself going enough to run a 5k or 10k this spring.  Wish me luck!

New Year, New Me?

I've never been one for formal New Year's Resolutions. It has always seemed to me that putting that kind of pressure on myself just sets me up for failure.  Also, I'm not that original, so my resolutions would likely be the same every year.  It's like when I am asked what I want for Christmas or my birthday - any other time, I can reel off one or two things that I want, but when the time comes, I can never remember and almost always say, "I don't know."  I'm told this is not especially helpful.  When New Year's rolls around, I am the same way.  "Uhhh, I'd like to get in shape?"

I think it's unrealistic to expect to become a new person in the new year.  I like the person I am, and it took me a long damn time to get to this point, so why would I want to change drastically?  I prefer the idea of resolving to make small tweaks that will improve my quality of life.

I've decided that I'm more of a short term goal girl.  This has been enhanced by motherhood.  I have less time and more to get done, so I need those shorter term, more specific items that I can get done and cross off my list. I love crossing items off my list.  That said, my resolutions this year are longer term, but specific enough to be attainable.

I also never have my resolutions figured out by January 1.  They need to percolate in my head and occur organically.  

I've never been one to document my resolutions, so technically this post could be considered a resolution, that I am really committing to do the things I am writing down here. 

Beyond that, here are my resolutions for 2012 (listed in no particular order):

Start running

I used to hate running.  Growing up, I loved playing soccer and swimming, and detested the running portion of the training programs for my sports.  This is probably in part due to the fact that I have horrendous allergies, which include allergies to grass and trees.  These are generally things that are unavoidable when running outdoors, and the medications available at the time didn't control my reactions as well as what I take now.  A year or so before I became pregnant with my daughter, I decided to give running another shot.  I was about 15 pounds overweight, had borderline high blood pressure and I was terribly out of shape.  Running was cheap and didn't require a lot of time.  I signed myself up for a 5k and made it my goal to be able to complete it without walking.  I still didn't like running while I prepared for that run.  It was only after I completed that race and got my official time that I really started to feel the rush that I had heard about.  Much like when I competed as a distance swimmer growing up, I found myself in competition with myself.  I had to sign up for another race to see if I could beat my own time.  I lost 15 pounds, my blood pressure plummeted and I felt great.  I found running to be a great pressure release valve as well. 

Then I got pregnant.  I continued running until my third trimester, then slowed it down to a walk.  I've been meaning to start running again, but just haven't gotten around to it. 

Until yesterday.  I started out easy, running one minute intervals with 90 second recovery periods.  My initial goal was to do eight, but I felt great, so I did sixteen instead.  I was apprehensive about how I would feel today, but I feel great!  I can't wait for my next run.  I'm going to make the time.  I need it and I deserve it.  I'm also going to push myself gradually harder, and maybe start to train for a longer race - perhaps a half marathon.  But one step at a time.  First I have to re-establish the habit. 

Find a new job/better work life balance

I picked a crummy economy and job market for this one, but there it is.  I need to get it done in 2012.  I am ready for a change in my day job.  I love the company I work for, but I need a new challenge.  I need to come to terms with the fact that I may have to start looking outside for the right fit for me.  I may have to reduce my requirements for what I'm looking for in that next opportunity.  I would love to stay with my company, keep my daughter in the daycare here and stay at the same pay level, but I may not be able to make that happen.  I feel like I have let myself get too specialized in my job, as I am frequently hearing as feedback, "You have a nice background, but it's really not what the hiring manager is looking for."  This is bad when combined with the fact that job descriptions are more specific than ever.  I'm a non-practicing attorney with lots of contracting experience and document management experience.  There doesn't seem to be a large market for that right now.   I am open to new areas and ideas, and if anyone has any, please share them with me!  I believe that I will find the position/job that is meant for me when I am supposed to, and that I have to stay positive in the meantime.  The only thing I will not compromise is my need for work life balance - my family is the most important thing in my life and my daughter will not be young forever.

The right job for me is out there.  I will find it.

Read 75 books this year

I love Goodreads.com.  I have been on it for a few years and have played with the idea of participating in their annual challenge, and this is the year I'm giving it a shot.  I love to read.  Now that I have a Kindle and know how to borrow books for it from my local public library, and am exploring the Amazon Prime lending library, there is no time like the present.  I am also hooked on listening to audio books on my iPod thanks to  Audible, so that will help as well.  I count those as books I have read because honestly, it takes much longer to listen to a book than it does to read it myself.

I chose 75 books as my goal.  I didn't base it on anything in particular.  I tend to reread books that I love, but I suspect that I am only supposed to count new books.  Hmm.  It may be totally unrealistic, but I think I can hit it without neglecting my child or letting my house fall down around my ears.

Sell/otherwise dispose of unused stuff

My house has been something of a construction site for the last five years, and we have kept things that we shouldn't have.  This is partly from not knowing what would go where upon completion and partly due to only recently having come to the revelation that not every gift we are given needs to actually enter our home. We have family members who believe in quantity over quality when they give gifts, and it is taking a toll. You know who you are. These same folks feel that they have to buy my daughter's affection by giving her crap every. single. time. she sees them.  You don't.  Trust me.  Pay attention to her and spend time with her instead.  Please and thank you.

A big thank you to those who don't fall into this category and give us gifts that are meaningful and useful at the same time.  (Thanks Mom!)  I am grateful that you know that stuff does not equal love.

Another issue was the family members who downsized into a much smaller home and dumped a lot of furniture and assorted crap into our home.  There were a few pieces that we will keep because we loved and wanted them, but they also brought us many things we thought we had politely refused.  We want to be surrounded by things we choose and love, not furniture and decorations that have been dumped on us.  This detritus is now taking up space and is slowly destroying my love for my home.

It is time for it to go.  In 2012, I will get this stuff out of my home.  Some of it is worthy of sale on eBay or Craigslist, other items will go on freecycle.org.  What is clutter and dust collectors in my eyes should be owned by someone who will enjoy them.  I love freecycle, because we definitely have stuff that in good conscience, I can't throw away.  We can't use it, but I know there are people out there who could.  Still other things will be donated or thrown away.  No matter what, if we don't love it, it is not staying in our house.

That's it.  A few things I need to do for myself and my family in 2012.  Hopefully, I will look back at this post in a couple of months and be happy with how I am dealing with these things.  Some are far easier than others, hopefully I won't feel the need to chuck any of them because they turn out to be unrealistic.

Wish me luck!!