Whew. I am exhausted. Christmas this year was a 3-4 day event, with our various family gatherings not spaced out at all. The exhaustion was absolutely worth it though, as our two year old had a wonderful time! Before I had a child, Christmas being on a weekend didn't make things any tougher, but now it is a hard deadline!
My little one loves Christmas lights, and so she was thrilled when we finally got our tree up...three days before Christmas. Oh well. That's okay. It'll likely stay up until Valentine's Day, so she will still have plenty of time to enjoy it!
Thursday we went to see Santa. We weren't planning to take her this year, figuring that she would be afraid of him still, but after a week of hearing, "A go see Santa?" over and over, we decided to head to the mall. I'm glad that we did, as she was all smiles as soon as she saw him and we got a really nice photo out of the deal.
Our holiday travel marathon began on Friday night, when we drove down to my parent's house. If there is absolutely no traffic and no stops along the way, the drive can be done in a little over 2 hours. Our drive was not quite so easy. Three hours, a dinner stop and three potty breaks later, we arrived. We spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family, having brunch, opening presents, eating cake and coffee, then dinner. It was like the day that wouldn't end, topped off with another three hour, three potty stop drive home. Upon arriving home, little one fortunately went right off to bed, which left me to wrap and play Santa in preparation for Christmas morning. I dropped into bed exhausted, but excited to see her face the next morning.
Christmas morning was just the three of us. I went downstairs a minute or two ahead and turned the tree lights on and got the video camera ready. I am really a bad videographer, but I wanted to see if I could capture the look on her face when she saw the tricycle under the tree. She saw the tree and the trike and her smile lit up her whole face! I was as excited as she was for her to climb aboard. She started pushing on the floor with her toes, and within about 5 minutes had put her feet up on the pedals and started pedaling. Craziness. I really didn't expect her to get the hang of pedaling so quickly! We had so much fun on Christmas morning, it's a memory I will treasure forever. Our little one didn't get a lot of presents from Santa, but what she got, she loved, so her mama is happy.
My parents came up for Christmas dinner and to exchange gifts, and we all had a lot of fun together. Then on Monday, my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, first cousins once removed, etc) all got together and enjoyed each other's company. Despite the two hour drive each way, we had a good time. I always think of my grandmother at this particular family gathering, and how happy she would be that we all still get together to celebrate the holiday. From the time I was young until her death in 2002, I gave her an angel for her Christmas tree. I still buy one in her memory every year and hang it on our tree. Merry Christmas, Mom-Mom!
I survived the Christmas marathon, but I need to re-think my strategy for next year. I should probably try to figure it out now, while the memory of this year is still fresh. I think Christmas is on a Tuesday next year...
Forget it. I'm too tired to even think about it!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
My Mother-In-Law Joined Facebook
This is the kind of thing that could REALLY test my patience.
Let's just say that I don't have the best relationship with my husband's parents. This is an issue that spans many years and myriad circumstances, but they don't like me and I don't like them. Our reasons are different - they don't like that I didn't ditch my family and become the daughter they never had when I married their son. I don't like that they are manipulative, self-centered, intrusive people who treat my husband and his brother like they are still children rather than grown men with families of their own. Their parents do not recognize them as the intelligent, remarkable, independent adults that they are. My mother-in-law and father-in-law have different priorities than I do. My family and friends are at the top of my list. I love them and time spent with them is cherished. My in-laws prioritize money and what others think above genuine affection and time spent with loved ones. Any information, no matter how private, is broadcast immediately to their network of friends. This includes personal information relating to health issues. You get the idea. Many of their friends are people that neither I nor my husband have ever met, so most of the people getting this private info are not close family friends of forever and a day.
I know that you may be thinking...why not sit them down and have it out? I wish that this were an option, as open and honest communication is my preferred form of communication. (To a fault, I think there are times when I am upset and should really count to ten and think about whether certain things should actually come out of my mouth.) I am not a slow burn sulker.
Both of my husband's parents can hold a grudge like no two people I've ever seen! They are so averse to confrontation that they will not discuss any issues face to face. We call it the twilight zone. It's the perfect way to describe how it feels. The closest we've ever come to having it out was when they once ambushed me with a telephone call to detail all of the things that I do wrong as a daughter-in-law and bemoan what they've done to deserve the way I treated them. All attempts I made to contribute to that conversation were wasted breath, because they really didn't listen to a word I said.
They jumped my sister-in-law via email. It had a similar flavor and the same outcome. They don't like her any more than they like me. This has been a bonding experience for us. So thank you, in-laws, for giving me additional common ground with my sister-in-law. We have joined together to become our own support group and have become good friends in the process.
My goal here is not to catalog all of their faults, but rather to give you an idea of why I was horrified when I received the text from my sister-in-law telling me that she got a friend request from our MIL. Wise woman that my sis-in-law is, she promptly hit the ignore button. Interestingly, my brother-in-law (yep, her son) didn't get a friend request, but my husband got an invitation to join Facebook and be her friend. He was entertained but has no intention of joining. His parents are so technophobic that he joked that his mother's email must have been hacked. No way she could really be on Facebook. I tend to think that his parents are technophobic when it's convenient. They like to say to their sons, "Oh, we don't know how to do that. Can you do it for us?"
I haven't gotten a friend request yet, but it's only a matter of time. She has been eyeing this for a while as a way to cyber stalk us. I know this because she has been dropping hints for a month or so now. I must take the time that I have to think about whether I hit ignore or accept the friend request and then block her from seeing everything so that I can keep an eye on her.
Keeping my enemies closer, so to speak.
I'm not a very active Facebook user. I go on maybe twice a week, pretty much never post statuses and basically am on to keep in touch and share photos with friends who live in distant places.
I checked out MILs page. She has no security set on her page. Of course not. I'm happy with this at the moment, because it means I can keep an eye on her without having to be her FB friend. But we will have an issue the minute I see a photo of my child posted without my permission and with no security to limit who can view it. It may sound paranoid, but I don't trust my in-laws. Even if MIL sets security, I don't know her friends. I'm fine with her having photos, but I don't really want her posting photos of my daughter online.
Am I being nutty about this, or am I right to be concerned?
Maybe it's time to ditch my FB account and move over to Google+. Hmm. If only the solution to this dilemma were that simple.
What would you do?
Let's just say that I don't have the best relationship with my husband's parents. This is an issue that spans many years and myriad circumstances, but they don't like me and I don't like them. Our reasons are different - they don't like that I didn't ditch my family and become the daughter they never had when I married their son. I don't like that they are manipulative, self-centered, intrusive people who treat my husband and his brother like they are still children rather than grown men with families of their own. Their parents do not recognize them as the intelligent, remarkable, independent adults that they are. My mother-in-law and father-in-law have different priorities than I do. My family and friends are at the top of my list. I love them and time spent with them is cherished. My in-laws prioritize money and what others think above genuine affection and time spent with loved ones. Any information, no matter how private, is broadcast immediately to their network of friends. This includes personal information relating to health issues. You get the idea. Many of their friends are people that neither I nor my husband have ever met, so most of the people getting this private info are not close family friends of forever and a day.
I know that you may be thinking...why not sit them down and have it out? I wish that this were an option, as open and honest communication is my preferred form of communication. (To a fault, I think there are times when I am upset and should really count to ten and think about whether certain things should actually come out of my mouth.) I am not a slow burn sulker.
Both of my husband's parents can hold a grudge like no two people I've ever seen! They are so averse to confrontation that they will not discuss any issues face to face. We call it the twilight zone. It's the perfect way to describe how it feels. The closest we've ever come to having it out was when they once ambushed me with a telephone call to detail all of the things that I do wrong as a daughter-in-law and bemoan what they've done to deserve the way I treated them. All attempts I made to contribute to that conversation were wasted breath, because they really didn't listen to a word I said.
They jumped my sister-in-law via email. It had a similar flavor and the same outcome. They don't like her any more than they like me. This has been a bonding experience for us. So thank you, in-laws, for giving me additional common ground with my sister-in-law. We have joined together to become our own support group and have become good friends in the process.
My goal here is not to catalog all of their faults, but rather to give you an idea of why I was horrified when I received the text from my sister-in-law telling me that she got a friend request from our MIL. Wise woman that my sis-in-law is, she promptly hit the ignore button. Interestingly, my brother-in-law (yep, her son) didn't get a friend request, but my husband got an invitation to join Facebook and be her friend. He was entertained but has no intention of joining. His parents are so technophobic that he joked that his mother's email must have been hacked. No way she could really be on Facebook. I tend to think that his parents are technophobic when it's convenient. They like to say to their sons, "Oh, we don't know how to do that. Can you do it for us?"
I haven't gotten a friend request yet, but it's only a matter of time. She has been eyeing this for a while as a way to cyber stalk us. I know this because she has been dropping hints for a month or so now. I must take the time that I have to think about whether I hit ignore or accept the friend request and then block her from seeing everything so that I can keep an eye on her.
Keeping my enemies closer, so to speak.
I'm not a very active Facebook user. I go on maybe twice a week, pretty much never post statuses and basically am on to keep in touch and share photos with friends who live in distant places.
I checked out MILs page. She has no security set on her page. Of course not. I'm happy with this at the moment, because it means I can keep an eye on her without having to be her FB friend. But we will have an issue the minute I see a photo of my child posted without my permission and with no security to limit who can view it. It may sound paranoid, but I don't trust my in-laws. Even if MIL sets security, I don't know her friends. I'm fine with her having photos, but I don't really want her posting photos of my daughter online.
Am I being nutty about this, or am I right to be concerned?
Maybe it's time to ditch my FB account and move over to Google+. Hmm. If only the solution to this dilemma were that simple.
What would you do?
Friday, December 2, 2011
December Traditions
Now that December is here, I've realized that many of our traditions start around Thanksgiving and keep us busy through the New Year. Now that we have a child, we have added even more. It's hard not to add things, as she is in that toddler stage, so innocent and fascinated by everything. Working full time complicates this even further, because most of our activities end up squeezed into the weekends. Having hockey season tickets gives me even less free time, though I do love it. Thank goodness my team only has three home games this month!
I am starting to realize that all of these things are why our house gets decorated for Christmas around December 23rd each year.
Hmm.
But what do we cut out? It's hard to trim anything, since most of these are A) fun and B) time spent with family or close friends.
This Saturday we have two events planned. The first one is new, a holiday party for the kids in daycare at my company, complete with Santa. This should be a lot of fun, as my daughter's little friends will all be there and they all gaze in wonder at Christmas lights and Santa.
Then in the evening, we go to a Dickens festival in a town about an hour from home. One of my closest friends lives right on the main street and a group of three of us attend this quaint little street fair no matter the weather. We're like the postal service when it comes to this festival. And we have seen all kinds of weather at this one. We people watch, browse the booths, avoid the stilt-walkers and listen to carolers, and check out the live nativity scene while we wait for Santa to roll into town. We don't always make it that long, sometimes a hot dinner in a warm place is too appealing to hold out on. Then we adjourn to my friend's apartment to eat Harry and David Moose Munch and watch Harry Potter movies on ABC Family. The evening comes to an end when one of us succumbs to our allergy to the cat. One of the things I love about this outing is that my daughter fits into it seamlessly, and hopefully she will continue to love going to the festival with the girls as she gets older.
Sunday will be spent recovering from running all over the state on Saturday. Hopefully this will also be an opportunity to identify where the Christmas tree will go this year and get that spot cleared out. We always seem to have home improvement projects going on that impact exactly where we had planned to put the tree, requiring a last minute change of plans and hoping that the tree will fit somewhere else.
Upcoming events include: adopting a family for Christmas and shopping/wrapping, photo with Santa, a cookie swap with friends, children's Christmas party at the firehouse, adult Christmas party at the firehouse, our town's Christmas tree lighting, Santa ride on the firetruck to visit neighborhood children on Christmas Eve, and other things I am certainly forgetting.
These events are on top of: decorating our home; shopping for family, friends, co-workers, teachers; planning, potentially hosting and traveling to various family celebrations of the holiday (we have at least three each year, sometimes four); off-site meetings for work; my husband's crazy work schedule and recertification courses; completing my mandatory continuing education by December 31; and of course, continuing to feed my family a healthy dinner each night and make sure everyone has clean clothes each day.
I'm going to take things one day at a time and shoot for accomplishing one thing each day...or couple of days. On the upside, my daughter is still young enough that I can get away with being a little bit of a disorganized mess...she won't remember it. Yet. Now is the time to work out the kinks and get the hang of making Christmas events at home as much or more of a priority as the ones out.
I can do this.
I am starting to realize that all of these things are why our house gets decorated for Christmas around December 23rd each year.
Hmm.
But what do we cut out? It's hard to trim anything, since most of these are A) fun and B) time spent with family or close friends.
This Saturday we have two events planned. The first one is new, a holiday party for the kids in daycare at my company, complete with Santa. This should be a lot of fun, as my daughter's little friends will all be there and they all gaze in wonder at Christmas lights and Santa.
Then in the evening, we go to a Dickens festival in a town about an hour from home. One of my closest friends lives right on the main street and a group of three of us attend this quaint little street fair no matter the weather. We're like the postal service when it comes to this festival. And we have seen all kinds of weather at this one. We people watch, browse the booths, avoid the stilt-walkers and listen to carolers, and check out the live nativity scene while we wait for Santa to roll into town. We don't always make it that long, sometimes a hot dinner in a warm place is too appealing to hold out on. Then we adjourn to my friend's apartment to eat Harry and David Moose Munch and watch Harry Potter movies on ABC Family. The evening comes to an end when one of us succumbs to our allergy to the cat. One of the things I love about this outing is that my daughter fits into it seamlessly, and hopefully she will continue to love going to the festival with the girls as she gets older.
Sunday will be spent recovering from running all over the state on Saturday. Hopefully this will also be an opportunity to identify where the Christmas tree will go this year and get that spot cleared out. We always seem to have home improvement projects going on that impact exactly where we had planned to put the tree, requiring a last minute change of plans and hoping that the tree will fit somewhere else.
Upcoming events include: adopting a family for Christmas and shopping/wrapping, photo with Santa, a cookie swap with friends, children's Christmas party at the firehouse, adult Christmas party at the firehouse, our town's Christmas tree lighting, Santa ride on the firetruck to visit neighborhood children on Christmas Eve, and other things I am certainly forgetting.
These events are on top of: decorating our home; shopping for family, friends, co-workers, teachers; planning, potentially hosting and traveling to various family celebrations of the holiday (we have at least three each year, sometimes four); off-site meetings for work; my husband's crazy work schedule and recertification courses; completing my mandatory continuing education by December 31; and of course, continuing to feed my family a healthy dinner each night and make sure everyone has clean clothes each day.
I'm going to take things one day at a time and shoot for accomplishing one thing each day...or couple of days. On the upside, my daughter is still young enough that I can get away with being a little bit of a disorganized mess...she won't remember it. Yet. Now is the time to work out the kinks and get the hang of making Christmas events at home as much or more of a priority as the ones out.
I can do this.
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